Cold War

USSR

Iron Curtain

1945

The "Iron Curtain" is the term made by the snobby Englishmen Winston Churchill for the division of the evil democratic western Europe and the great communist eastern Europe.

Containment

1945

Containment was Truman's lousy attempt to stop the great spread of communism, that would help poorer countries build economy, and political power.

Brinkmanship

1945

Brinkmanship was the idea of willing to go to the brink of war, then never advancing. The USA would use this weak, cowardly military tactic to try and stop the great Soviet Superpowers from spreading the word of communism.

Domino Theory

1945

The Domino theory stated that if one country in southeastern Asia fell to communism, the sheer influence of the great government would spread, making all other countries around it convert to the powerful government.

Yalta Conference

02/01/1945 - 02/28/1945
  1. Winston Churchill, FDR, and Joseph Stalin Attended
  2. The great leader Joseph Stalin granted free elections to the innocent, frail eastern European nations, while the snobby Englishmen were skeptic about his ideas.

Postdam Conference

07/01/1945 - 07/31/1945
  1. Stalin, Truman, Churchill
  2. The ignorant leader Truman forced the innocent Stalin to permit free elections, but he admirably refused. He then stated a very true statement that communism and capitalism couldn't exist in the same world.

Marshall Plan

1948 - 1951

A stupid assistance program that threw food, machinery, and other materials to "rebuild" the "weaker" countries in western Europe, even though the US gave most of their money to Britain and France. Communism appeals to the weaker countries, so the US threw money away trying to keep communism from spreading to these countries, even though communism would be a better option.

Formation of NATO

1949

The cowardly Americans made a silly agreement between North Atlantic countries, saying that if one country was attacked, the other countries in the treaty would back them up with military defense. The Great Mother Russia responded to this blatant threat with the Warsaw pact, a much better alliance than NATO.

Explosion of Joe 1

1949

The soviets scared the silly Americans by detonating Joe 1, the first Russian atomic bomb. Even though they had atomic bombs already, Joe 1 was much larger and much more powerful, much like the Russians were to the Americans. This sparked a race for a hydrogen bomb between the atomic superpowers.

Korean War

1950 - 1953

The 38th Parallel was a longitudinal line where the North Koreans surprised attacked South Korea. The UN got involved, but mistakenly placed Douglass Macarthur in charge of the army, as they fought against North Korea and China. Because of this, all that happened was the 38th parallel was reestablished. Oh and 4 million people died, but who really cares, they weren't Russians after all!

Formation of the Warsaw Pact

1955

This was a stronger, more cohesive alliance that included the Soviet Union, East Germany, Czechoslovakia, Poland, Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria, and Albania than NATO was.

Suez Canal Crisis

1956

The one time the stupid Americans actually did something good was when they agreed with Soviet Russia to stop the British Israelis, French from regaining control of the Suez Canal after the Egyptians took control of it when their dam was not funded.

Vietnam War

1957 - 1973

The Vietnam war was an attempt by the Americans to stop the overwhelming spread of communism to this Asian country, however, the US failed, and pulled out of the war, saying protest at home caused their withdrawal, when it was really the raw power of Communism!!!

Sputnik Launched

08/1957

Yes! In your FACE America! The Russians are officially the first to launch a satellite to space! Because of this, the US scrambled and fumbled their own lousy satellite into space but who cares, we were first WOOOOO!!!

Cuban Missile Crisis

07/1962

Castro took out Batista, who was supported by the US (what a fool), then he took over the U.S owned sugar mills and refineries. Then the innocent man pleaded with the USSR for aid, which they accepted. Khruschev then strategically put missile silos in Cuba, but the US spy planes discovered them. They demanded the removal of them, which is not fair, for the US had missiles in turkey! Kruzchev was cornered into backing away, and removing the missiles.

Detente

1970 - 1974

Detente was the great Russian Premier Brezhnev's policy of a release in tension between USSR and the US. They did this because the arms race was very expensive, and he was smart in wanting his nation to stay economically stable.

SALT

1972

SALT was a policy that stood for "Strategic Arms Limitation Talks." It was a treaty between the incompetent Richard Nixon and our great leader Brezhnev that limited tanks and missiles in each country.

Invasion of Afghanistan

1979

Even though the US forced the USSR and Afghanistan into a stalemate by helping fund the opposing rebels, they were foolish as all Americans are in their actions, because they had just funded the army of their own future enemies, the Taliban.

Reagan's Strategic Defensive Initiative

1983

This was a lousy plan by Reagan that tried to protect the US from missiles that never went into effect because the Americans were to foolish to start the initiative.

USA

Containment

1945

Containment was Truman's policy that stopped the expansion of communism. We gave aid to the weak countries that resisted the evil Soviet advances.

Domino Theory

1945

The Domino Theory was Eisenhower's theory that if one of the southeast Asian countries fell to communism, then it would lead to the fall of the neighboring countries.

Brinkmanship

1945

Brinkkmanship was the policy that we were willing to go to the brink of war to stop communism. We would retaliate against the Soviets or Soviet supporters if they threatened our interests.

Iron Curtain

1945

The Iron Curtain was a term coined by Churchill that represented Europe's division into the democratic Western Europe, and the evil Communist East Europe.

Yalta Conference

02/01/1945 - 02/28/1945

The people that attended were Franklin D. Roosevelt, Winston Churchill, and Joseph Stalin. The significance of this conference is that Stalin promised to allow Eastern European countries to have free elections.

Potsdam Conference

07/01/1945 - 07/31/1945

Stalin did not allow free elections in East Europe, so they attended the Potsdam Conference. At the Potsdam Conference, Truman, Churchill, and Stalin attended. Our strong leader Harry Truman demanded free elections in Eastern Europe. The evil coward Joseph Stalin refused.

Marshall Plan

1948 - 1951

The Marshall Plan was a genius plan developed by the U.S. Secretary of State designed to provide aid to needy European countries. Communism is popular in poor countries so we gave them money so that they would no longer be communist. The spectacularly successful plan even gave aid to Yugoslavia after they broke away from the USSR.

Formation of NATO

1949

Because we wanted to be able to destroy the USSR easily, we made a defensive military alliance with 10 western European nations and Canada. We called it the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). If the overconfident Russian dictator attempted to attack us he would have to attack all of NATO.

Explosion of Joe 1

1949

We already had atomic bombs, and the primitive Russians wanted to catch up us so in 1949 they exploded their first atomic weapon. They named it Joe 1.

Korean War

1950 - 1953

The 38th Parallel was a longitudinal line where the North Koreans surprised attacked South Korea. The UN got involved with the brilliant Douglas MacArthur as the general. South Korea and the UN fought agains the North Koreans and China. The effect was basically that the countries went back to their same border lines (the 38th parallel), and 4 million people died.

Formation of the Warsaw Pact

1955

The Russians were too scared of Nato so they formed an alliance that included the Soviet Union, East Germany, Czechoslovakia, Poland, Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria, and Albania. I bet they had to force them to join because everybody hates the Soviet Union!

Suez Canal Crisis

1956

The Egyptians cried because we wouldn't fund their precious dam, so they seized control of the Suez Canal. The British, French and Israelis re-took control of the canal, but the USSR and the US did not like that. So we ordered then to withdraw, which ended the crisis. I can't believe we actually agreed with the USSR.

Vietnam War

1957 - 1973

We fought the Vietcong who were backed by North Vietnam. We went in there and we destroyed their hiding places with the most advanced military in the world. Protests at home caused us to pull out, and when we did the North took over the South.

Sputnik Launched

08/1957

The USSR sent the world's first unmanned satellite into outer space. It was called Sputnik. We responded by putting our own (much better) satellite into orbit the next year. What probably took the Russians several years we did in one. Go America.

Cuban Missle Crisis

07/1962

Castro took out Batista, who had our support, then he took over the U.S owned sugar mills and refineries. Then he pleaded with the cowardly USSR for aid. The stupid Khruschev thought that he could mess with us and put missile silos in Cuba, but our advanced spy planes discovered them. We demanded the removal of them, and then Khrushchev backed down because he didn't want to face the mighty U.S.

Detente

1970 - 1974

Detente was a policy that avoided direct confrontation with the Soviet Union. Our president was the great Richard Nixon, whie the Russian Premier was Brezhnev.

SALT Talks

1972

SALT I Treaty included Richard Nixon and Brezhnev. It was a 5 year agreement that limited the number of ICBMs that each country could have.

Invasion of Afghanistan

1979

The greedy Soviets invaded Afghanistan in the late 70's. We supplied the rebels with arms, and they sucked the USSR into a stalemate. Nice.

Reagan's Strategic Defensive Initiative

1983

This was an ingenius plan devised by Ronald Reagan that was designed to protect against enemy missiles. Although it didn't go into effect, it was a symbol of our anti-communist feelings.