Cold War Timeline

USSR

Basic Vocab. Iron Curtain: Some stupid phrase that Churchill came up with for the division between communist and non-communist Europe.. so not clever. Containment: Another not so clever plan made up by Truman to try and stop us from spreading the amazing communist way.. haha #chances Brinkmanship: the so-called "wilingness" that the U.S. had to go to the brink of war with us.. they began to try to strengthen their puny little military forces, well we fought back with much more dangerous warfare than they could ever dream of. Domino Theory: Another stupid name, for a stupid theory, that a U.S. president came up with.

Iron Curtain picture

1900

Didn't really start in 1900, just needed a start date to add it in

Potsdam Conference

1945

The conference was attended by by Stalin, Truman, and Churchill. It tried to get Stalin hold free elections in Eastern Europe. But American ideas are dumb. So no.

Yalta Conference

2/28/1945

Meeting where Churchill, FDR, and the Great Joseph Stalin discussed what to do with Europe. The capitalist big dumb idiots in England and the US gave Stalin control of Eastern Europe because they are no match for Stalin's Nazi killing swag.

Marshall plan

1948 - 1951

This was a bonehead plan by the USA to stop the spread of communism (yeah right) by loaning money to eastern European countries. No one wants your nasty money USA. go away.

Formation of NATO

1949

Another stupid idea thought up by the USA to help out some countries in Europe and Canada. They tried to look all tough by telling these countries they would help them out when they needed it. #youwish #stahp

Explosion of Joe 1

1949

Not that this is even that notable of an event... but the US set off the H bomb, Joe 1, as a test bomb and it did some damage...big deal. #getoveryourselves

Korean War

1950 - 1953

The USA tried to stop the spread of communism (lol). North Korea, a Communist supported country, tried to spread its brilliant ideals by taking over south Korea. The stupid US got in the way again and helped South Korea fight. The 38th parallel divided the countries of North Korea and South Korea into communist and democratic countries. North Korea was backed by the USSR and South Korea was backed by the US. The effect was that South Korea remained democratic

Formation of the Warsaw Pact

1955

BIG HOLLA ON OVER TO THE USSR FOR THIS ONE! Yup. We made some friends in Europe and increased our security by a ton.

comeatmebro #donthatemecuzyouaintme

Suez Canal Crisis

1956

Crisis is a bit of a heavy term in my opinion.. We thought it was pretty great! The USA was trying to "keep the peace" when the Israelis attacked the Egyptians in a attempt to try and regain control over the Suez canal. Yeahhhh right. They just wanted to get some Suez Canal for themselves. TOO BAD.

Sputnik launched

1957

SNAPS FOR THE SOVIETS! Yup! we launched the first unmanned satellite into space! How's that taste USA??

getonourlevel #whobetterthanme

Cuban Missile Crisis

1962

Well in all our brilliance, We placed 42 missiles in Cuba. The USA, attempting to defend itself and also being the party poopers that they are, told us to remove these missiles. They took started blocking Cuba until Nikita agreed to remove the missiles. WHATS THE MATTER US? DON'T LIKE A CHALLENGE??

Detente

1970

Detente was a policy to lessen tensions in the Cold War. Richard Nixon (What a peach he was eh?) led the US through this new policy to try and make peace with us.. the Great Brezhnev worked with Nixon on the policies.

Salt Talks

1972

The SALT talks were a series of two meetings between Nixon of the USA and the Great Brezhnev of the Soviet Union. This was another oh so stupid US idea that proposed to limit the amount of missiles a country could have. Scared much? Live a little guys.

Invasion of Afghanistan

1979

In 1979 we invaded Afghanistan. And yet again.. the US gets involved... They start fighting against us and assisting the Afghans.

WELL HAVE FUN WITH THE TALIBAN. #sorrynotsorry

Regan's strategic defense initiative

1983

The SDI was a program set up by Reagan to protect the USA from enemy missiles. Whether it was strategic or not... that's debatable.. more like the scaredy cat defense initiative.
lol. #USSRhumorswag

United States

Vocab: Iron Curtain-This was a phrase that described the separation of the poor eastern communist side of Europe and the bountiful democratic western side of Europe. Containment- A great initiative put forth by the USA to stop the spreading of the evils of communism. Brinkmanship- This was the point where the USA had to go near the edge of war with the Soviet Union. The USSR were jerks so we had to build up our army in order to show them we wont be pushed around by some bullies. Domino Theory- A theory put forward by Eisenhower to show how the USA had to stop the spread of Communism because if one country fell to communism in an area, then others would fall as well and it would be like a domino effect.

Brinkmanship Picture

1900

didn't really start in 1900, just needed start date

Yalta Conference

February 28, 1945

The USSR and United states met to decide the fate of the countries taken over by the USSR in the Battle of Stalingrad. Stalin, being the manipulative dictator he is, convinced the other countries to let him keep control of USSR only if he held democratic elections.

Potsdam Conference

July, 1945

The conference was attended by by Truman, Stalin, and Churchill. It tried to let Stalin hold free elections in Eastern Europe. Stalin, being the stubborn guy he was did not listen to Truman's great idea.

Marshall Plan

1948 - 1951

This was a generous plan set forth by the United States. We helped western European countries build back up their economies and countries after the war. The USA was hoping the countries would feel grateful enough to them that those countries it helped wouldn't get caught up in the evil communism the Soviet Union was trying to spread.

Explosion of Joe 1

1949

The stupid soviets were not clever enough to think of the H bomb before the US. We fired Joe 1 as a test bomb and it came out as a big success.

Formation of NATO

1949

The USA created this great idea to help out his buddies in Europe and Canada. If anyone hurt any of his friends, The USA would be there to back them up as they are an honorable country.

Korean War

1950 - 1953

The USA, being brave and noble, attempted to stop the spread of communism. North Korea, a Communist supported country, tried to spread its stupid ideals by taking over south Korea. The US didn't let them and we were able to successfully defend off against the dumb communists. The 38th parallel divided the countries of North Korea and South Korea into communist and democratic countries. North Korea was backed by the USSR and South Korea was backed by the US. The effect was that South Korea remained democratic and communism was contained.

Formation of Warsaw Pact

1955

This was a bonehead move by the soviet union because they created their own dumb alliance with other countries in western Europe for security.

Suez Canal Crisis

1956

Here, The USA was doing its best to promote world peace when the Israelis attacked the Egyptians in a attempt to try and regain control over the Suez canal.

Sputnik launched

August, 1957

The dumb USSR though they were so clever in launching the first unmanned satellite into space. Well, the joke's on them because we just put more money into our math and science programs and got a butt-kicking satellite the next year.

Cuban Missle Crisis

July, 1962

This event happened when the dumb soviets placed 42 missiles in Cuba. The USA, attempting to defend itself, told the soviets to remove these missiles. They took precautions of blocking Cuba as any sensible country would do in a situation like this until Nikita agreed to remove the missiles. JFK and the boys back home stood up to the oppressive USSR and showed them who's boss.

Detente

1970 - 1974

Detente was a policy to lessen tensions in the Cold War. We did not want to have to fight with the Soviet Union. Richard Nixon led us through this new policy to try and make peace with the highly unreasonable Soviets. The Soviet Premier who we worked with was Brezhnev .

SALT talks

1972

The SALT talks were a series of two meetings between Nixon of the USA and Brezhnev of the Soviet Union. This was a genius US idea that proposed to limit the amount of missiles a country could have so the Soviet Union wouldn't try and destroy The USA.

Invasion of Afghanistan

1979

In 1979 the Soviets invaded Afghanistan. The US supplied resistance forces with weapons to fend off against the terrible acts of the Soviets. The US also boycotted the 1980 Olympics in Moscow and we stopped shipping grain to the Soviets as punishment for their evil actions.

Regan's Strategic Defensive Initiative

1983

The SDI was a program set up by Reagan to protect the USA from enemy missiles. We did not want to get taken over by those jerkace communists so we had to build up our military.