Cold War

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USSR

Yalta Conference

February, 1945 - February 28, 1945

The leaders of the United States, Britain, and the best of all, the USSR, met at the Soviet Black Sea resort of Yalta. We agreed to divide Germany into zones of occupation controlled by the Allied military forces. Germany would also have to pay us to compensate for our loss of life and property. We agreed to join the war against Japan. Stalin also promised that Eastern Europeans would have free elections. (But we don't actually plan on going through with that haha!)

Potsdam Conference

July 1945 - August 1945

Stupid Truman, kept pressing Stalin to allow free elections in Europe. (As if!) Capitalism and Communism could never exist in the same world. They did this meeting in Potsdam, Germany with Churchill.

Containment

1946

That incredibly rude foreign policy developed by the US. Trying to keep wonderful communism from spreading to the weaker countries.

The Marshall Plan

April 1948 - April 1952

Those stupid Americans just HAAD to stop the spread of communism. So they figure who likes communism? The poor! So they George Marshall proposed the US give aid to the needy European countries. They gave them food, machinery, and other materials needed to rebuild Western Europe. ew.

Iron Curtain

1949 - 1989

The boundary separating our glorious Communist nations in eastern Europe from those senseless democratic western nations.

Formation NATO

1949 - Present

The Berlin blockade heightened Western Europe's fear of Soviet aggression. So ten western European nations joined with those awful US and Canada to form a defensive military alliance. They were trying to threaten us!

Explosion of Joe 1

August 1949

We developed our own atomic bomb and exploded it. It was AWESOME. That scaredy cat Truman decided to start working on an H-bomb. Of course we weren't going to let him get the best of us so we did too.

Korean War

June 1950 - July 1953

The 38th parallel divide Korea into North and South. After WWII Japan had already surrendered to us and the USA. We had the glorious communist North Korea and. . . South Korea (but it was run by USA so that says a lot) We saw that the US had withdrawn most of their troops from Korea so we took a guess that they wouldn't defend South Korea so we tried to take them over! The US along with Britain and 15 other nations, resolved to stop us. Everyone eventually settled into a cease fire agreement. There now lies a demilitarized zone between the two countries. Don't worry, North Korea is still communist, thankfully!

Cuban Missile Crisis

July 1952

Well yeesh, Kruschev thought the failed Bay of Pigs invasion was a sign of the US's weakness against Soviet expansion in Latin America. I don't why they freaked out so much because we only built. . . 42 missiles sites secretly in Cuba.The next thing you know, JFK is freaking out! Silly Americans demanded a removal and formed a naval blockade of Cuba!

Brinkmanship

1953

The US was willing to go to the brink of war but not actually fight. They were trying to strengthen themselves against our big bad bombs.

Domino Theory

1954

The US knew that the glorious Soviet Union is nothing to mess around with. They formed a theory that if one nation falls under communist control then nearby nations will also. (Which sounds like a great idea to me.)

Warsaw Pact

1955 - 1991

Well since that ridiculous NATO organization is trying to threaten us. We joined with East Germany, Czechoslovakia, Poland, Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria, and Albania. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/1b/Warsaw_Pact_Logo.svg

Suez Canal Crisis

October 1956 - November 1956

Well we begrudgingly sided with those darn Americans to pressure the Israelis and Europeans to back of Egypt and leave the Suez canal alone.

Vietnam War

1957 - 1973

The Vietnamese Nationalist and Communists were fighting in this war. Clearly the USSR was on the Communist side- the RIGHT side! It ended with a peace conference dividing North and South Vietnam.

Sputnik Launch

October 1957

HAH! We beat those loser Americans and launched Sputnik, the first unmanned satellite to travel above the earth's atmosphere. Take that USA.

Detente

1971

Detente was a theory that was, lessening Cold War Tensions with the US. This was under the premier, Brezhnev.

SALT Talks

1972

Nixon visited the USSR and had a series of meetings called the Strategic Arms Limitation Talks. They agreed to limit the amount of arms both countries produced.

Invasion of Afghanistan

1979

Well we went into Afghanistan because they were having trouble with their communist regime. So we invaded but those darn, meddling Americans supplied them with weapons so they could fight us! Can you believe the nerve?!

Regan’s Strategic Defense Initiative

1983

Ugh, Regan was soo anti-communist! And he kept moving away from detente. He increased defense spending putting both economic and military pressure on the USSR. Talk about pushy. He also announced the SDI to protect against enemy missiles. They didn't even put it into effect. It was just a symbol of US anti-communism.

USA

Yalta Conference

February 1945 - February 28 1945

Our president Roosevelt ( awww he’s so cute) was to meet with the leaders of Britain churchill ( He’s a good guy we like churchill he’s our main homie g) and Russia Stalin (eww). He agreed to divide up Germany. But he was also skeptical that Stalin would only keep his pledge if eastern European countries followed policies “friendly to Russia”. eye roll

Potsdam Conference

July, 1945 - August, 1945

FIRST OUR BELOVED ROOSEVELT DIES AND THE STUPID USSR DEFILES HIS MEMORY EVEN MORE BE BREAK OUR AGREEMENT AND NOT HAVING FREE ELECTIONS. THANK GOD FOR TRUMAN PUSHING IT! UGGGHHH SO RUDE!

Containment

1946

When our beloved leader Truman created a policy to prevent those soviets from tricking other people into adopting their destructive concepts of communism.

Marshall Plan

April 1948 - April 1952

Our very generous secretary of state George Marshall proposed the we give aid to the need western European countries. We will send food, machinery, and other materials to rebuild those poor victims of communist rule.

NATO

1949 - Present

We had enough of the soviet unions bullying so in response we formed an alliance with Canada and ten western European nations. We called this alliance the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, agreeing to defend any of the nations within the alliance should anyone attack one of us.

Explosion of Joe 1

1949 - 1950

HAVE NO FEAR! ALTHOUGH THE SOVIETS HAVE DEVELOPED AND EXPLODED THEIR OWN ATOMIC BOMB (WHAT DUMMYS) BUT 'MERICA ALREADY HAS SEVERAL AND TRUMAN HAS PROMISED US THE PRODUCTION OF THE MORE DEADLY THERMONUCLEAR WEAPON!!!! YAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Iron Curtain

1949 - 1989

This is when those darn commies made that division between Western and Eastern Europe so they could spread their communism and prevent democratic freedom!

Korean War

1950 - 1953

The soviets have done it once again. Spreading their evil communism. When we separated the commies from the FREE along the 38th parallel those frickin soviets put troupes in the north half ensuring communism.

Brinkmanship

1953

A true hero, John Foster Dulles, pushed the USA to be be ready at any moment for war! Letting us jump to the brink or edge awaitng battle. He increased our amazingly powerful airforce and hired the best minds to create nuclear weapons to protect us from the Soviets. This lead to some stupid race of arms that those silly USSR kids thought they could be us in. Merica!

Domino Theory

1954

If just one country falls into the evil trap of oppression that is communism, soon surrounding countries will fall into this vicious lifestyle as well! We as ’merica must stop this!

Warsaw Pact

1955 - 1961

The soviets joke of an alliance in response to NATO. They "joined forces" (Ha forces. Like you got force. What chu gonna do punk? NOTHING) with East Germany, Czechoslovakia, Poland, Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria, and Albania.

Vietnam War

November 1955 - April 1975

At first, we the citizens of our glorious country the US of A were all for the stopping communism from spreading to south Vietnam. But then the images started coming in. The violence! THE BLOOD! WOE IS MEEEEEEE!!!! I just can't support something like that, I'm all for America fighting against commie pigs but idk maybe this has gone too far. I'll write a letter to the president expressing my distaste on the matter.

Cuban Missle Crisis

August 1957 - October 1957

This was literally the scariest 13 days of my life! And I went through like no television okay. Castro was all like " yeah sure Nikita Khrushchev we'll totally point some FRICKIN MISSILES at the USA no big deal, how could this go wrong?" and the we were all like "oh yeah well we'll like point missles at you and block things from coming into you country and like invade your bay with pigs (i think that's what happened... or maybe US troupes like invaded Cuba or something idk)" and then Cuba got all mad and called my mom and my mom called her mom and it was a big ordeal. But i mean i couldn't have a COMMUNIST at my war party, their were going to be US civilians there... in there FREEDOM. But yeah it like lead to brinkmanship but they like backed out so whatevs.

Sputnik launched

August, 1957

Ew so the soviets launched a unmanned satellite above the earth atmosphere on October 4th. Whatever. We're still better and have a superior space program.

Suez Canal Crisis

1959

Okay so we maybe kinda agreed with the soviets just a little to pressure Israel and the Europeans to leave Egypt in charge of the canal. (Good financial for us yay!)

Détente

1971

Nixon and Ford think it'll be a good idea to have a thawing out with Russia, a peace period to reestablish relations. Whatevs I trust em, they got my back. We'll like sign some treaties and things. Maybe some like pepper or SALT!

SALT talks

1979 - 1986

Strategic Arms Limitation Talks. We signed some treaty with Russia agreeing to both place specific caps on each side's number of nuclear weapons. Fair I guess.

Invasion of Afganistan

1979

So we kinda like funded the Talaban... oops! (Atleast we foiled the Russians plan to invade Afganistan to spread communism by providing them with weapons to fight them off)

Regan’s Strategic Defense Initiative

1983

YEAH MERICA! Regan is so awesome! He totally made this brilliant plan to stop any incoming Russian bombs by having missiles guided by lasers to vaporize them if they tried to come over on our freedom! This makes us invulnerable to them!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... HAHA.. HA. Cough