Custody, Visitation, and Child Support

General

MISUSE OF DHS TITLE/RESOURCES IN CUSTODY SUIT

09/04/2006 - 09/06/2006

EMAIL - Jason tells me that in a recent call Debra's bragged about delaying the protective order with help from a contact at the Mayes County Sheriff's dept. The contact is someone she met via a DHS case.

VIOLATION OF AGREED TEMP ORDERS - INCOME ASSIGNMENT

10/06/2006

Debra refuses to get an income assignment done as ordered in the Agreed Temporary Orders.. Claims she doesn’t know how. Says she’ll pay it her way and that this will be fine, says court will understand.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - INCOME ASSIGNMENT

01/17/2007 - 11/03/2009

Debra refuses to get income assignment as ordered in the Paternity suit.

During the time of her refusals, here are the most common reasons she gives
- Still states she doesn’t know how
- Later claims that an OKDHS local payroll employee does the IA's and is unavailable due to vacation
- Later claims that the OKDHS state office employee who does the IA's is unavailable due to vacation
- Later claims that DHS will fire her if it happens
- Later claims the image problems an IA presents will block her promotability
- Later claims DHS won’t do IA's to their own, etc
- At varying points her practice of paying when she can is fine, that the court would consider me unreasonable if I take action.
- Reminds me repeatedly that Jason doesn't make her follow their support related Orders.

PHOTOS - Debra sends us photos of icy trees @ home

01/19/2007

EMAIL - NCP acting better in communications. Sends a photo of icy trees outside her home.

NOTIFICATION OF NEW ADDRESS

01/21/2007 6:59 PM

EMAIL - Deb emails, sending the address of her new apartment.

PORN/BDSM RELATIONSHIP

01/31/2007

Porn/BDSM relationship - David Khayman. David is a prominent BDSM enthusiast in online and dating community, informed Debra this is not safe please keep from Aiden, she dismisses my concerns

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

02/04/2007

EMAIL/CALL - Debra is unwilling to accept child care or store/pharmacy receipts when spoken to on a call.

  • Demands that I provide cleared checks or she'll not pay.
  • Further delays repayment by 30 more days.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

02/04/2007

EMAIL/NOTES - NCP unreasonable child support requirements - will pay her part of employement-related child care only upon receipt of copies of cleared/cancelled checks at end of month.

  • This delays start of her self-claimed 30 day repayment window by an additional 1-3 weeks.
  • Disputing and delaying each and every child care payment.
  • She doesn't think it's fair that she has to pay it since I make more, claims Jason doesn't make her pay this.

PHOTOS - I send Debra a batch of new photos of Aiden

02/05/2007

EMAIL - I send Debra 5 new photos of Aiden.

PHYSICAL VIOLENCE - NCP ASSAULTS ME

02/12/2007 10:30 PM

NOTES/EMAIL/DEBRA'S JOURNAL - Debra assaults me late in the evening at my home in Tahlequah

  • Says she wants to make-up, logs me in to her Yahoo email to show me she's not up to old tricks.
  • Her Mail->Sent items show she's still doing porn/BDSM and the like.
  • Assaults me, attempts to destroy my Macbook Pro laptop, kicks in a bathroom door, breaks windows once I discover the emails.
  • I lock myself in bathroom and demand that she leave.
  • After 3 more requests and my threat to call police, she finally leaves, returning to Pryor.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

02/26/2007

EMAIL - Continuing to refuse repayment on child care costs from normal receipts.

  • Still insists on cleared check receipts or she will not pay.
  • I email photo of cleared check awaiting payment for Aiden's 1st 2 weeks at Toy Chest learning center.

CHILD SUPPORT REQUEST - I send check receipt of morning care to NCP

03/01/2007

EMAIL - I send Debra check receipts of morning care thru 02/26/2007.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

03/05/2007

EMAIL/CALL - Pretends not to have received emails sent 3x after her twice claiming the same earlier in the week.

  • During a call Debra pretends not to have received notification of any costs for morning care.
  • Point out that I've emailed it 3 times already
  • Sent again.

PHOTOS - I send NCP a batch of very old family/self photos

03/05/2007

EMAIL - After locating a cache of old photos I send them on to the NCP.

OKDHS - SERIOUS ABUSE OF PRIVELEGE, VIOLATION OF ETHICS

04/01/2007 - 05/10/2007

NOTES - Debra continues abuse of DHS priveleges/privacy of clients.

  • Brags about persecution of Sara Kidwell, an ex-girlfriend of mine.
  • Brags that she finds it funny that no one at OKDHS knows that she already knew Sarah and their familiarity with one another.
  • Makes a bet with a relative of Jemma Spradlin's mother that the mother is pregnant and states "guess we'll have to pick that one up too!"
  • Continues discussing details of Deaton case/children in custody, mentions legal struggle over potential for kinship placement in Florida.
  • Talks about Tara Weaver's placement in Chouteau after Tara's release from inpatient care after her attempt to kill other children by poisoning their soft drinks with a household cleaner.

OKDHS - NCP'S USING CLIENT'S MEDICATIONS AS HER OWN

04/14/2007

EMAIL/NOTES - Debra is again abusing her employment priveleges in a rather serious manner.

During conversation admits the following

  • Abuse of medications prescribed for clients/children in her care.
  • Admits the medications are for a child named Jemma Spradlin
  • Admits placing the client medications in her desk after finding them in her car. She keeps them in her desk.
  • Admits to pain meds and antibiotics misuse as an alternative to visiting a doctor.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

04/26/2007

EMAIL/NOTES - Continues to delay repayment of child care.

  • Still will not accept daycare provider's receipts
  • Has finally decided she'll take check images before they clear.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

05/09/2007

EMAIL - Having no luck getting Debra to do her IA in accordance with the Paternity Order. I email Howard Hendrick, director of the OKDHS organiztion to get guidance as to who to contact within the organization to resolve the issue.

There is no response.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

05/23/2007

PHOTOS/PHONE/IN-PERSON - Pretends (falsely) not to have received numerous receipts and request for child support given to her in person more than once, refuses to pay. I print copies of the docs again to give her.

When I arrive for Aiden, she is asleep on the couch. I get Aiden ready, go out to my car and get the attachments, photographing them lying atop her while she sleeps, I leave them as they are, pack Aiden up, and leave.

ORDERED VISITATION - NEGLECT / ABUSE

05/23/2007

Debra has Aiden for midweek vis time, is asleep with door partially opened when I arrive to pick him up.

Deeply enough asleep that I'm able to get Aiden and his suitcase loaded into the car, photograph receipts that I set next to her, and leave.

SCHOOL - NCP NO-CALL/NO-SHOW FOR HALLOWEEN PARTY

10/31/2008

NOTES - Debra is a no-call/no-show for Aiden's class Halloween party. I attend the party as promised to Aiden.

  • Earlier in the week promises Aiden & I that she will attend.
  • No response to messages asking is she's coming or not.
  • Later indicates that she didn't take PTO as planned.

NCP ATTENDS $80 METALLICA CONCERT

11/18/2008

NOTES: Debra goes to see Metallica in concert @ the BOK Center. Tickets are
$77.50 before taxes. She has, at this point, still not done her income assignment or
contributed consistently to support or child care.

Brings a "Death Magnetic" shirt home for Aiden, two days later says she can't afford to help with child care or groceries.

SCHOOL - NCP NO-CALL/NO-NO-SHOW FOR SCHOOL EVENT

12/09/2008

NOTES/PHOTOS - NCP is a no show for Aiden's Pre-K Christmas concert at Osage Elementary in Pryor, OK

  • Event is less than 10 minutes from her home
  • Promises Aiden she'll attend
  • I take Aiden to buy cowboy hat for the "Western Christmas" themed event
  • NCP calls 30 minutes before show canceling her attendance, is at home and doesn't feel like going.
  • I attend, take photos

NCP Refuses to take/pick-up Aiden due to weather

01/29/2009 9:00 AM
  • NCP refuses to take/pick up Aiden anywhere today due to inclement snowy/icy weather.

NCP Attends $60 AC/DC Concert in Limo

01/29/2009 7:00 PM
  • NCP Attends $60 AC/DC Concert, rides in a limo w/OKDHS staff.

I take Aiden to Walking With Dinosaurs

01/31/2009 3:00 PM
  • NCP Wants to go, claims she can't afford it and wants me to buy her tickets. When asked how she afforded Metallica and AC/DC for herself but cannot spare a dime for Aiden....she hangs up.

ORDERED VISITATION - FAILURE TO MAINTAIN AIDEN'S FRIENDSHIPS

02/12/2009 - 04/01/2011

NOTES FROM VISIT WITH TINA AND DAMON MILLER: Aiden and I visit the Miller family so that he can play with their son, with whom Aiden was very close during our residency in Mayes County.

During our visit together, Tina and Damon state:
- Debra has never brought Aiden over to play
- Debra has never attempted to make arrangements to bring Aiden to play
- NOTE: They live approximately 5 minutes away from Debra.
- NOTE: I take Aiden to visit them at least 3 times during this time period
- NOTE: Aiden indicates that Debra never takes him to play with old classmates, friends, or other children.

RELATIONSHIP - NCP Asks me to stay the weekend

05/29/2009

EMAIL - NCP asks Aiden and I to stay overnights during the weekend to work on our relationship.

Emails me stating "I would be even more thrilled and delighted if you would join us as I do miss you as well. I would like to spend time with you rekindling our desires for each other. You look very attractive today and I would like to spend time showing you . "

EXTRA VISITATION REQUEST - LATE / NO NOTICE

05/29/2009 10:01 PM

EMAIL - NCP emails me @ 10 PM requesting that Aiden and I come spend the weekend with she and Dylan.

CRUELTY/EMOTIONAL ABUSE TO AIDEN

06/05/2009 - 07/29/2009

EMAIL/TEXT
- Refuses to take time off to enable Aiden's visitation
- Refuses to make extra phone or visitation contact so the boys can see each other.
- Makes it clear that Dylan is at her house, but that no requests for Aiden to see him will be honored outside of alternating weekend visitation
- No effort for extra phone contact or time while Dylan visits Pryor (from Dallas, TX area) despite Aiden's repeated requests and my repeated emails communicating those requests

ORDERED VISITATION - CANCELLED / REFUSED

06/06/2009 - 07/29/2009

EMAIL/TEXT/CALLS - Debra refused Ordered Visitation for Summer Break 2009.

  • Used only alternating weekends.
  • Chose to honor Dylan's summer vis instead. Aiden stays in day care
  • Refuses to take time off for either child.
  • Refuses to make extra phone or visitation contact so the boys can see each other.
  • Makes it clear that Dylan is at her house, but that no requests for Aiden to see him will be honored outside of alternating weekend visitation

VISITATION EXCHANGE - LATE/NO NOTICE

06/19/2009 11:03 AM

EMAIL - Debra wants to meet in Catoosa @ McDonald's, wants to exchange @ 5:45 instead of 6:00 PM.

  • Same day notice, less than 8 hours before visitation begins.

AIDEN SICK - EXTRA VISITATION REFUSED

07/03/2009 - 07/06/2009

TEXT / PHONE - Aiden develops a nasty fever, Aid and I ask if Debra would like to take half a day with him, she says no. Asked again on 07/05, she still refuses.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

07/06/2009

PHONE/TEXT/NOTES - Furious that I have contacted OKDHS for Child Support Services.

  • Debra notices in DHS system that she’s slated for OCSS garnishment case/hearing
  • Is furious.
  • Refuses to cooperate to ensure we're both receiving fair credit for costs/payments
  • Efforts to delay the process by falsely claiming that OKDHS/OCSS advised her not to cooperate.
  • When OKDHS asks who told her this, refuses to state source of the alleged advice.

NCP LEAVES DYLAN WITH HER PARENTS WHILE @ MULTIPLE-DAY CONCERT

07/09/2009 - 07/12/2009

EMAIL/NOTES - Debra dumps Dylan at her parents for the entirety of the Rocklahoma concert.

Takes PTO to attend concert

07/09/2009 - 07/10/2009

EMAIL/NOTES - NCP takes time off from work to attend concert...

  • has taken zero time off to use her summer vacation with either of her sons.
  • Has been leaving Dylan alone for 8 hours at a time while she works, other times leaves Dylan with her parents

CRUELTY/EMOTIONAL ABUSE TO AIDEN

07/10/2009

IN PERSON - Lies to Aiden about why she won't take visitation, tries to pretend she's busy, when he asks her why she attempts to say it's for work.

  • Becomes aggressive and insults me / calls me a liar in front of both children when I remind her that Aiden deserves the truth.
  • Becomes furiously angry, shouting and making a scene when I correct her dishonesty by telling our son an age appropriate version of the truth.
  • Informs Aiden that Dylan is at her parents but he can not see him.
  • Walks away cursing and shouting when Aiden begins to cry and grab her leg, begging for visitation.
  • Tells me "see what you did to him" when I attempt to calm Aiden.
  • Aiden cries and begs for his time with Dylan and visitation.
  • While crying at her feet, he asks if she'll please please please take him to his visit with his dylan. She rudely says no, sneering at me.
  • Aiden then asks if Dylan can spend the night. She laughs out loud, then rudely says no.
  • Debra blames me and storms off with Dylan, states that neither Aiden nor I will see Dylan any time soon..leaving Aiden crying in the entryway floor.
  • I pick Aiden up and console him as best I can given the circumstances.

ORDERED VISITATION - CANCELLED / DECLINED

07/10/2009 - 07/12/2009

EMAIL/TEXT/NOTES - Cancels an entire weekend of promised her alternating-weekend visitation with Aiden, to attend Rocklahoma 2009

  • Debra had already declined the entirety of her ordered visitation for Summer Break 2009 .

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

07/14/2009

TEXT - Debra debates numerous amounts for child care and whether she should even have to pay them, Refuses to pay child care/child support unless receipts are in an exotic/custom format from the provider with receipt, details, and indicator of how I paid (cash/check).

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - INCOME ASSIGNMENT

07/15/2009

TEXT - Debra once again refuses to get an income assignment done.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

07/15/2009 - 07/20/2009

EMAIL/LETTER/CALLS - Refuses to pay child support costs, decides she doesn’t want to reimburse for Union EDP/child care until after school starts, and tries to argue/haggle how much of the cost she'll reimburse me for. This goes on for days.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - INCOME ASSIGNMENT

07/16/2009

EMAIL/ TEXT / PHONE - I ask Debra to work together and share our receipts between one another so that we both get proper credit as DHS works out her arrearage. Debra formally refuses, claims that DHS told her not to work together...I ask our case worker who says this is patently false, and that they'd prefer we work together to minimize anger and speed the process.

I ATTEMPT TO REDUCE EXCHANGE CONFLICTS

07/16/2009

TEXT/EMAIL/PHONE - I request we use our parents for visitation exchange

  • Aiden states that we argue a lot.
  • Due to NCP's hatred of child support there's conflict.
  • I suggest we use our parents as intermediaries for exchanges until things calm down.
  • Debra is angry about the idea. Neither she nor Aiden have had much interaction with her parents in years.
  • I state that obviously this would help both Aiden and herself.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

07/16/2009

CALL - Refusing to pay CS/Child Care, is vicious and angry during call over having to pay support and the fact that I've contacted OCSS, states again that child support is unfair and that Jason doesn't make her pay it or child care if she requests not to...says Jason's approach is more co-parental, despite violation of Order.

Offers to let Dylan stay the night with us

07/18/2009

Debra offers to let Dylan stay the night, says she's ill and returns home after we go out to dinner. Says we can have Dyl till the following evening.

NCP UNREACHABLE - CONSENT FOR DYLAN - SWIMMING

07/18/2009

Once we're home the boys want to go swimming. I have no permission from Debra to do anything at all, and had agreed to ask her before we do anything beyond my apartment. We try three times to reach her, no answer. After an hour we call Jason, who says it's ok to take Dylan swimming.

Jason hadn't been told Dylan was staying over.

SCHOOL SUPPLIES - REFUSES INVOLVEMENT

07/18/2009 - 07/19/2009

TEXT / PHONE - Notified of start date of school and location, states uncertainty when asked if she'll attend. Debra refuses to be involved in or contribute to school supplies. TEXT MESSAGES 07/18/2009 – 07/19/2009

MUTUAL AGREEMENT CANCELLED / IGNORED

07/19/2009

NOTES - Angrily cancels Dylan's stay at our house. Debra calls early in the morning furious. She apparently failed to answer Jason's calls the previous night, hadn't told him Dyl was staying over, and didn't want him to know.

She demands that I take Dylan to a meeting point with her mother immediately after breakfast. Aiden is devastated.

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

07/20/2009

In order to get Aiden more time with Dylan, I offer to bring Aiden and leave him there for a bit to play with Dylan.

Debra never responds.

SCHOOL - NCP INVITED TO START OF SCHOOL EVENTS

07/22/2009

EMAIL - Let Debra know 1st day of school and meet the teacher day, invited her to both and gave her the dates for each.

AIDEN SICK - EXTRA VISITATION OFFER REFUSED

07/22/2009

TEXT/EMAIL - Aiden's fever comes back, doc says that strep didn't go away, so prescribes a z-pack instead. Ask if Deb would like to take 1/2 day to be with Aiden and to help minimize my lost work time....she does not respond.

NCP ADMITS IGNORING PARENTING MESSAGES

07/23/2009 7:30 PM

CALL NOTES: Deb acknowedged ignoring parenting calls/texts/messages that should've been responded to.

  • ignored one update on aiden's health while sick
  • ignored one request for a half day of her watching him while sick
  • one request to see if Dyl could go swimming

VIOLTION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT / PHONE CONTACT

07/24/2009

CALL NOTES – Appx 7:30 PM, Debra vows she won't pay any arrearages because she doesn’t feel she should have to. Refuses to speak to Aiden when I ask her to.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - SCHOOL ACTIVITY NOTICE

07/24/2009

EMAIL – Won't commit to attending school event. Says she’ll “see what she can do” and might attend Meet the Teacher. No response for 1st day of school.

SCHOOL - NCP Informed of Meet The Teacher schedule

07/24/2009 10:54 AM

ORDERED VISITATION - INAPPROPRIATE ACTIVITY

07/26/2009

EMAIL - Takes Aiden to a co-worker's 21st birthday party. After visitation and on our way home, Aiden mentions having been at pool party where all the grown ups have beer cans. I ask Debra by email not to do this again.

CRUELTY/EMOTIONAL ABUSE TO AIDEN

07/27/2009

EMAIL - Aiden indicates Debra is interrogating him about my personal life, dating, etc. Emailed her asking her to not do so again.

She replies:
- Admits to asking him questions about my personal life
- Admits to taking him to the pool party.

ADMITS TAKING AIDEN TO CO-WORKER'S POOL/BDAY PARTY

07/27/2009

EMAIL - Admits to taking him to the pool party in reply to my email asking if Aiden's statements regarding the pool party were valid.

ADMITS INTERROGATING AIDEN

07/27/2009

EMAIL - Admits to asking him questions about my personal life in reply to my email asking that she cease doing so.

CHILD CARE - I INFORM NCP OF RATE CHANGES

07/27/2009 9:30 AM

EMAIL - I inform Debra that child care costs are increasing as a result of the recent fed min wage increase.

  • Explained rates.
  • Explained date that rates will take effect.

HEALTHCARE - I inform NCP about booster shots

07/28/2009 5:42 PM

EMAIL

EXTRA VISITATION - CANCELLED

07/31/2009

EMAIL/RECORDING - Cancels extra time for Aiden and Dylan due to rain and not wanting the kids playing indoors at the home of her adoptive parents.

  • Cheryl and Debra cancel planned extra time for the boys at Cheryl's house (where Dylan is staying) due to rain and not wanting them to play indoors at their house.

ORDERED VISITATION - NEGLECT / ABUSE

08/2009

NOTES/CALLS/AIDEN - Grossly inappropriate entertainment during visit.

  • Leaves Aiden and Dylan inside while she has a beer with a neighbor
  • While unattended, Dylan decides to watch 2 episodes of "1,000 Ways to Die" on cable TV.
  • Aiden was aksed to remain indoors with Dylan, and watches TV with Dylan.
  • Aiden later recalls graphic imagery of someone dying when a pencil pokes into their eyeball
  • Aiden later recalls graphic imagery of someone dying of stroke at a dance club after wrapping rubber bands around his penis in an effort to enlarge his appearance. "went to heaven from dancing around while a rubber band was on his wee wee"

EMOTIONAL ABUSE/CRUELTY TO AIDEN AND MYSELF

08/03/2009

EMAIL - Debra states Aiden no longer see Dylan as much, and I will no longer see Dylan at all

  • In retaliation for my request of our family as visitation exchange help
  • States: "As for seeing Dylan having an intermediary for dropoffs and pickups of
    Aiden has impacted your ability to see Dylan through me and if you'd
    like I can copy this email to Jason to respond to your request as
    well."

NCP SEVERS MY 8 YEAR RELATIONSHIP WITH DYLAN

08/03/2009

NCP LEAVES DYLAN WITH HER PARENTS

08/03/2009 - 08/07/2009

CRUELTY / EMOTIONAL ABUSE TO AIDEN

08/03/2009

EMAIL - Doesn't know/won't say when Aiden will see his brother next.

I BEG NCP NOT TO SEVER MY 7+ YR RELATIONSHIP WITH DYLAN

08/03/2009

EMAIL - Debra has now totally cut me off from Dylan. I beg her by email not to.

Pointed out:
- Have spent more years living with him than his father at this point
- Had a healthy and long relationship
- My previous role in emotional and financial support
- That cutting me off is also not good for Dylan.

I REQUEST NCP PROVIDE DYL'S SCHEDULE TO SYNC VISITS

08/03/2009

EMAIL - I request visitation calendar for Dyl's scheduled visits so that we can maximize Aiden's time with his brother.

  • Debra calls and is utterly unconcerned. Laughing, tells me I'll never see him again
  • Says Aiden's fine not seeing his brother
  • Says she does not have to do anything about this and laughs more.

I BEG JASON TO LET AIDEN SEE DYLAN

08/03/2009

EMAIL - I email Jason and point out how little time the boys have had this summer, ask why he's allowing Debra to hurt the boys by using Dylan as a weapon, remind him that sibling relations are in Dyl's best interests as well.

ORDERED VISITATION - LATE / NO NOTICE FOR SUMMER BREAK 2009

08/03/2009

EMAIL - Refuses to provide details about summer visitation times/dates or when Aiden will see his brother again.

USES SIBLING VISITS AS A RETALIATION FOR VISITATION EXCHANGE

08/03/2009 8:31 PM

EMAIL FROM NCP "As for seeing Dylan having an intermediary for dropoffs and pickups of

Aiden has impacted your ability to see Dylan through me and if you'd

like I can copy this email to Jason to respond to your request as

well. "

I BEG DEB TO LET AIDEN SEE DYLAN

08/04/2009

EMAIL

I OFFER TO DROP 3rd PTY VIS EXCHANGE IF AID CAN SEE DYL

08/04/2009 11:39 AM

TEXT - I send a text to NCP offering to stop requesting our parents do visitation exchange if she'll let Aiden see his brother. NO RESPONSE

Informed NCP leaving Aiden in other care without consent is unacceptable

08/04/2009 4:45 PM

EMAIL - I send an email to NCP reminding her that dropping Aiden off to spend the night anywhere but her apartment in her care is unacceptable without my notice and consent.

AIDEN GETS NO TIME WITH DYLAN ALL WEEK

08/05/2009

EMAIL - Debra leaves Dylan with her parents this week, Aiden gets no time with him despite their proximity to our home.

CRUELTY / EMOTIONAL ABUSE TO AIDEN

08/05/2009

EMAIL - Lies to Aiden about reasons for cancelled visitation and no-time with Dylan

ADMITS LYING TO AIDEN REGARDING CANCELLED VISITATION

08/05/2009

EMAIL - Acknowledges lying to about reasons for cancelling visit and the total lack of any real time with Dylan.

  • Admits lying to Aiden
  • Attacks me for telling him the truth
  • Implies that telling Aiden the truth causes anxiety for Aiden.
  • Implies that telling Aiden the truth damages her parent-child relationship with Aiden.

VISITATION EXCHANGE - LATE / NO NOTICE

08/06/2009

EMAIL - Debra changes the visitation exchange location the day before visitation...

  • Changes location from Inola to the Sonic 101st and Elm in Broken Arrow
  • Changes time to 6:30 PM for both Friday and Sunday
  • Wants to do visitation exchange by proxy (her mother)

CRUELTY / EMOTIONAL ABUSE TO AIDEN

08/06/2009

EMAIL - I ask for the next 2 times Aid will see Dylan after this weekend's visit. Debra does not respond.

  • Will not say when Aiden can see his brother next.

ORDERED VISITATION - LATE / NO NOTICE

08/06/2009 05:45 AM

EMAIL - No notice from Debra about visitation or exchange.

  • Visitation is in less than 24 hours.
  • Emailed asking about intent to exercise ordered visitation
  • Debra replies @ 3:15 PM with time and location for exchange.

DYLAN'S SUMMER BREAK ENDS

08/07/2009 - 08/06/2009

NOTES - Summer Break is over, Dylan returns to Texas w/Jason Morgan

CRUELTY/EMOTIONAL ABUSE TO AIDEN

08/07/2009 5:09 PM

EMAIL - I've emailed Deb again asking for the next 2 time Aiden will see his brother. Still no answer to yesterday's similar request. NEVER RECEIVED ANY ANSWER

  • Either she's too cruel to care what her vengeance tactics are doing to Aiden
  • ...or she literally does not schedule visitation in advance for a son living 3 hours away.

ORDERED VISITATION - NEGLECT / ABUSE

08/08/2009

AIDEN/ RECORDING - Lies to Aiden about trip to special activity, disciplines him for not showering and dressing quickly enough by himself.

  • Promises after exchange to take Aiden & Dylan to Incredible Pizza
  • Dylan returns home,
  • Boys don't get the promises trip to Incredible Pizza
  • Aiden is upset, Debra promises to take him on the following day (Sunday).
  • Becomes angry at Aiden for not being faster when showering or dressing himself.
  • Decides no trip to Incredible Pizza. Tells Aiden it's because he can't shower or dress faster.
  • When asked during a call she says she just ran out of time, that Aiden was too slow, but that's not really why she cancelled...wanted Aiden to get the point to not be so "pokey"

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - TAKES AIDEN TO McCALESTER

08/09/2009

EMAIL - Admits to taking Aiden with her to McCalester, OK. Made no mention and did not ask permission or get consent before doing so.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - SCHOOL ACTIVITY NOTICE

08/09/2009

EMAIL/PHONE/TEXT - Unable/unwilling to clearly answer regarding school events.

  • No commit on whether she'll be able to attend teacher conference on 08/10/2009
  • No answer about first day of school which is on 08/12/2009

ORDERED VISITATION - NEGLECT / ABUSE

08/09/2009

AIDEN/RECORDING - Aiden states that Debra slept during most of visitation while he and Dylan played Wii

ORDERED VISITATION - NEGLECT / ABUSE

08/09/2009

AIDEN / RECORDING - Aiden is not fed breakfast or dinner. For lunch he has a "pepperoni ,cheese, and mayonnaise wrap" because it's all she had in the fridge.

DEMEANS / ATTACKING ME IN FRONT OF AIDEN

08/09/2009

AIDEN/RECORDING - Aiden states that he hates how mean mommy talks to his daddy.

SCHOOL - MEET THE TEACHER NIGHT - Ms Taylor

08/10/2009

Aiden's teacher hosts a sort of pre-start open-house to meet the parents of her students.

I ASK NCP TO STAY FOCUSED ON MEET THE TEACHER

08/10/2009 11:01

EMAIL - Debra's still unsure she's coming. I remind her that if she does that today is about Aiden and not us.

SCHOOL ACTIVITY - LATE / NO NOTICE FOR 1st Day of Kindergarten

08/11/2009

CALL - Refuses to attend 1st day of school at the last minute.

  • I call Debra to ask her to please let us know whether she's coming to the start of school.
  • She finally says she can't, as she never requested PTO from her employer

KINDERGARTEN - 1st DAY OF SCHOOL

08/12/2009

1st Day of Kindergarten

SCHOOL SUPPLIES / CLOTHING - REFUSES INVOLVEMENT

08/12/2009

TEXT/EMAIL - Refuses to assist or be involved with school supplies.

  • Wants nothing to do with Aiden's new year at Jefferson or supplies/clothes/etc...

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

08/14/2009 12:33 PM

EMAIL - I email NCP and remind her that she has outstanding child care over 30 days past due.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

08/14/2009 4:02 PM

EMAIL - NCP states she will not be paying all of child care and will pay on her schedule rather than Aiden's.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

08/14/2009 6:36 PM

EMAIL - Pretends she's not received or seen a receipt for child care. She's been given a copy in person at my apartment more than once.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

08/14/2009 6:36 PM

EMAIL - NCP Now wants copies of school payment policy.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

08/16/2009

EMAIL - NCP states proudly during call that she isn't paying for July child care. I remind her by email that OCSS can still add child care to any garnishments resulting from the admin hearing.

EXTRA VISITATION - IGNORED / REFUSED

08/16/2009

TEXT - Offer extra visitation since we're in the area. Offer to drop him off, even to allow him to stay with her as late as 8 PM. No response.

VISITATION EXCHANGE - LATE / NO NOTICE

09/17/2009

EMAIL - No notice from Debra about where/when for visitation exchange as of 1 PM on Thursday (day before visitation).

  • Emailed asking for timing and exchange location.

VISITATION EXCHANGE - LATE / NO NOTICE OF CHANGE

09/18/2009 1:16 AM

EMAIL - Changes location & return time @ 1:16 AM on day of visitation

  • Finally indicates she'll take visitation @ 1:16 AM Friday morning.
  • Debra changes the location back to the Fiesta Mart in Inola, OK @ 6 PM.

ORDERED VISITATION - CANCELLED/REFUSED

10/15/2009 - 10/19/2009

EMAIL/TEXT/CALLS - Debra refuses Ordered Visitation for Fall Break 2009

Debra refused to exercise visitation. Aiden went to Union PS Fall Break Day Camp

NCP TRIES CAUSING GUILT TRIP ABOUT CHILD SUPPORT

11/05/2009

EMAIL - NCP emails to cause a guilt trip now that she's officially set up for Income Assignment.

  • Days after OKDHS OCSS Court, emailing about how she can't afford anything now...hasn't even been garnished once at this point and already complaining
  • After pretending for years that she's doing just fine and support her son, suddenly she's in a panic now that it's enforced.

States: "There will be more cut backs and Santa clause can be you this year this one can't do it. Aiden should understand. My house will be colder than yours I will get him some flannels to stay warm."

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

11/06/2009

Aiden has an exceptional school week. As a reward I promised trip to Chuck E Cheese. During a call Debra promises to come celebrate with him. Aiden is excited. Debra is a No-Call/No-Show. Much later that night Debra calls to let me know she'd instead decided drive to Tulsa and sit at IHOP, reading.

FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE / CO-PARENT - AIDEN'S 6TH BIRTHDAY (2009)

11/20/2009

EMAIL / IN-PERSON - Refuses to reply to an email asking whether she'd like to contribute or have her parents attend.

  • No answer regarding NCP's interest in party contribution
  • No answer regarding invitations to both she and her family
  • Having received zero feedback, I book and pay the deposit for Aiden's party @ Chuck E Cheese.

ORDERED VISITATION - NO NOTICE FROM NCP - XMAS BREAK 2009

12/02/2009

EMAIL - Have received no effort from NCP to schedule Christmas visitation. I email asking her if she has a plan for it yet. Send her Aiden's school break dates.

From: rspaulding@matrixservice.com
To: Debra Morgan sea_turtle7@hotmail.com, Debra Morgan debra.morgan2@okdhs.org
CC:
BCC:
Subject: Aiden's Christmas Break
Date: 12/2/2009 9:49:34 AM
Folder:

Debra,

I wanted to open a discussion about scheduling for Aiden's xmas break.

Here are Aiden's no-school days:
Dec. 21 and back on Jan 4th.

I am off on the following days: Dec. 24-25 and January 1st.

Are you going to have Dylan during any of those break days?

Are you off on any of the break days? If so, do you want to have Aiden during some of that time?

Thanks,

Rick

CRUELTY/EMOTIONAL ABUSE TO AIDEN

12/02/2009 6:00 PM - 12/03/2009 11:00 PM

EMAIL/TEXT - Debra i previously promised Aiden she'd come by on his calendar birthday to see him and let him open an early birthday gift. Calls at approximately 8:30 PM, running late at a visit but still planning to come see Aiden.

From this point on she is a no-call/no-show for the night despite letting Aiden wait up for her till 11:00 PM. Several calls and texts asking if she's still coming are ignored after her 8:30 PM call.

------ SMS Text ------
From: 9184578520
Sent: Dec 3, 2009

11:16 AM - I hope Aiden had a good start to his day. I will call later to tell him happy birthday.

11:17 AM - We need to talk as well. Later tonight. I'm going to be doing that visit til late so it will need to be after that. Say 10

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

12/02/2009 6:30 PM - 12/03/2009 11:00 PM

EMAIL/TEXT - Debra is a no-call/no-show for Aiden's calendar birthday. Had previously promised him she'd come by, bringing a present he could open early. Called at 8:30 PM and spoke with Aiden, unsure about when she'll arrive but still planning to do so....after waiting until 11:00 PM and several ignored calls/text msgs I let Aiden open 2 presents early to help calm his anxiety, before putting him to bed.

NCP - Connivance to stage conflict

12/03/2009

EMAIL/TEXT/CALL - NCP fails to show to let Aiden open presents, doesn't answer calls, had earlier said she had a risky visit to a "nasty client" of DHS.

No answer by early AM, I call police dept. to ask them to make sure she made it home. Get a call from an officer who yells at me, hangs up on me when I try to say anything. NCP was at home, sitting outside smoking, tells officer bunch of nonsense. Emails me the next day with "I Love You" message...sends text messages....tells police story A and me story B.

From: 9184578520
Sent: Dec 4, 2009 12:05 PM
Subject: I'm sorry about last night I had...

I'm sorry about last night I had lost my phone in my car found it just a bit ago was lodged under the seat on silent. I had intentions of calling last night got home sat down couldn't find my phones told myself I'd do it in a minute fell asleep and got woke by the officers at 3 am and didn't mean to worry you last night. I've got meetings and work I've got to complete but will call later after I get off work. Once again I'm sorry.

EXTRA VISITATION - NO CALL / NO-SHOW FOR AGREED VISIT ON BIRTHDATE

12/03/2009

PHONE/TEXT/EMAIL - Debra promises Aiden she'll be coming by to open a present with him for his birthday. Debra does not show or call to state she's not coming. We wait up till 10 PM.

PHOTOS - Sent NCP Aiden's Halloween Photo

12/03/2009 3:46 PM

I send NCP a photo of Aiden from the Matrix Service Halloween carnival, he is in costume at a pumpking patch.

Demands attendance at Aiden's party

12/04/2009 - 12/05/2009

PHONE / TEXT - Claims she wants to play with Aiden and meet his friends from school. After much argument we agree she'll attend, despite her total lack of any financial or logistics support/involvement.

Says if not at our party she'll miss his birthday completely

12/04/2009

Claims that she can't do any other party and that nothing else is planned. Later we find she's scheduled a party for both boys at Carl/Cheryl's. She makes no mention of Dyl being here or available to Aiden.

UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR AT AIDEN'S CHUCK E CHEESE BIRTHDAY PARTY

12/05/2009
  1. Party is approx 2 hours long.
  2. Spends her time at the party playing only 15-20 minutes or so with Aiden.
  3. Talks me into changing tags on my gifts to read as from "Mom & Dad".
  4. Rest of 2 hour party is spent interrogating any female guests as to whether they're dating me, very distant when Aiden attempts to introduce important school friends.
  5. No party contribution of any kind whatsoever.

PARENTAL INTERFERENCE - AIDEN'S BIRTHDAY PARTY

12/05/2009

PHONE / TEXT / IN-PERSON - No response from her parents to the party invitation or an email asking if they'd like to contribute to the birthday party.

  • During call, Debra states she's already spoken with them
  • States that after her conversation with them, they will not be attending.
  • States that they have zero interest in coming to any party thrown for Aiden facilitated or attended by me

NCP Now Taking Muscle Relaxers, unable to stay awake

12/10/2009

TEXT - NCP Admits that muscle relaxers knocked her out in under 40 minutes on eve of 12/09/2009, causing her to sleep for nearly 12 hours straight.

ORDERED VISITATION - CANCELLED / REFUSED

12/21/2009 - 12/26/2009

EMAIL/TEXT - Debra refuses Ordered Visitation for XMAS Break 2009

Debra did not fully exercise visitation during this break. Only 1-2 24 hour periods of care were used by NCP. Aiden stayed with my family until evening time when she picked him up, bringing him back following morning.

Keeps Dylan for the entirety of his Ordered Visitation, Aiden is aware the whole time that his brother is very nearby but that for reasons his mommy won't explain, he can't be there too.

CANCELS/REFUSES SPECIAL HOLIDAY VISIT

12/23/2009 - 12/25/2009 2:00 PM

EMAILS/TEXT - Debra and I had a standing agreement to split XMAS day. She is in OKC area from 12/24 Christmas Eve) through afternoon of Christmas Day. She fails to show up or honor the agreement, choosing work instead.

  • Promises on 12/23 that he will open presents with her that afternoon and later on that day at her parents as well...on Christmas Day.
  • Aiden is ecstatic that he'll get to see all of his family on Christmas
  • Spends XMAS EVE in OKC area.
  • Drives through Tulsa, passing less than 10 miles from our home, yet on the phone refuses to come get or see Aiden, claiming roads are impassable from snow.
  • In order to facilitate Aiden's happiness and allay his sadness from her broken promise, I drive him to Pryor to see her. We encounter only menial weather delays.
  • Fails to take Aiden to see her family as promised.
  • Brings Aiden back following morning/early afternoon.

AIDEN GETS EXTRA VISIT WITH MATERNAL GRANDPARENTS

01/08/2010

TEXT/VOICEMAIL - Cheryl wants a visit Aiden so he can play for a bit with Dylan.

  • Cheryl leaves a voicemail with request.
  • Aiden is ecstatic at the idea of seeing his brother and NCP's parents.
  • I enthusiastically agree and set up an exchange point.
  • Exchange occurs at a Target store near my apartment. (10711 East 71st Street, Tulsa)

NCP VERBALLY ATTACKS, VOWS TO STALK

01/12/2010

TEXT - Debra behaves in a threatening/violent manner via text messages, vows to stalk Hailey Smart.

From: 9184578520
Sent: Jan 12, 2010 9:06 PM

Go fuck your baby asshole

------ SMS Text ------
From: 9184578520
Sent: Jan 12, 2010 9:18 PM
Subject: Aparently not since you've had...

Aparently not since you've had your "needs" met else where try again asshole

From: 9184578520
Sent: Jan 12, 2010 9:23 PM

Whatever I was trying the best I could you didn't leave for my cheating this time and like I said in anger before go get fucked then and you listened for a change you must have actually really listened and too it literally. Gee I'm so shocked though at least be honest when asked don't go through another persons apartment trying to find shit to ease your pathetic fucking no good fucking conscience low life mother fucker ass fucking babies

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

01/18/2010

PHONE / TEXT - I offer Debra extra visitation time, she refuses saying she can't afford to. Only agrees to see Aiden after I agree to buy gas and dinner. I fill her car up, take them both to dinner, then leave so they can play at my apartment.

NCP STALKS A RECENT LOVER OF MINE

01/28/2010 - 02/13/2010

EMAIL/TEXT/HAYLIE - Haylie calls me from work, panicked. NCP has been standing outside Haylie's work leaning directly in front of and on the driver's side door of Haylie's car refusing to leave.

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

02/12/2010

While in town to see Tristan, I leave a message asking if Debra would like to see Aiden for an hour or so. No response.

I TAKE AIDEN TO PLAY W/TRISTAN

02/12/2010

EMAIL / TEXT / CALL - I make one of several visits to Pryor, OK for Aiden to play with Tristan, good friend of Aid's, child of Tina/Damon Miller who previously were his summer daycare.

IGNORES PLAYTIME AND CONSTRUCTIVE ACTIVITIES

02/18/2010

PHOTOS / IN-PERSON - Debra buys Aiden a lego toy kit and sends it back with him, but has refused to build it or play with him. Aiden is upset about this, so we build it together.

CHANGES VISITATION TIME/EXCHANGE

02/19/2010 2:47 PM

TEXT - Debra mentions she's due to a work trip, exchange to be somewhere between 6:30 and 7:00 in Inola, OK.

------ SMS Text ------
From: 9184578520
Sent: Feb 19, 2010 2:47 PM
Subject: I was needing to let you know that...

I was needing to let you know that I have to take a kid home after visit today so it will be between 630-7 before I am home. I have to take state car back

Says child support is why she can only afford concerts

02/28/2010

TEXT / PHONE - Debra says child support is why she can only afford concerts and can't take Aiden out anywhere (this, after she discovers we're going to the circus). Says I make enough she should never have to pay anything.

Refuses to look at pets with Aiden

03/10/2010

PHONE / IN-PERSON - Tells both Aiden and myself she won't take him to look at pets, despite his interest in her joining or taking him to do so.

EMOTIONAL CRUELTY TO AIDEN

03/20/2010

EMAIL FROM HAYLIE SMART - NCP introduces Aiden to someone I'd dated that he had nor previously been exposed to.

  • Angry that I dated someone else, Debra stalks and corners Haylie outside her employer I Claremore (jan 2010)
  • NCP Sneaks into my apartment and picks up items Haylie had left behind.
  • NCP sets up a meeting with Haylie, brings born Aiden and Dylan.
  • At no point was Aiden introduced or exposed to Haylie when we dated.
  • Debra introduces them to one another at this meeting.
  • I am very upset by this and ask Debra to never do such a disrespectful thing to our son again.

I'm late to visitation exchange

03/26/2010

TEXT - I text Debra to let her know we're running behind due to a massive plumbing issue at our apartment...1st floor tenant clogged sewage line which backed sewage up into our apartment, unable to enter apt until cleared by mgr.

ORDERED VISITATION - LATE/NO NOTICE - EASTER 2010

03/30/2010 10:12 PM

EMAIL - Have had no indicator from NCP about schedule for Easter. I email asking if she'd like to split the holiday.

She replies on other issues but ignores Easter. Aiden and I celebrate it alone.

To: Debra Morgan sea_turtle7@hotmail.com, Debra Morgan debra.morgan2@okdhs.org
CC: Rick Spaulding rspaulding@matrixservice.com, Rick Spaulding groovepoets@hotmail.com, groovepoets@gmail.com
BCC:
Subject: Easter Weekend
Date: 3/30/2010 10:13:24 PM
Folder: Sent Items

Deb,

I have Friday off with Aiden and shouldn't have much trouble meeting in Inola at the gas station around 6. We'll likely go to the zoo that day if it's open, welcome to join us if you're off.

I'd like to see us split the easter Sunday holiday, you having the morning thru early afternoon with your family, and me picking him up @ 2 pm for easter egg hunting with my family. Given the way we've split other recent holidays, this should work out well for us both.

Please let me know by reply to thid email whether the times/plans work for you (if not, what are your suggestions?).

Aiden's teacher conference went well. The biggest remaining issue for him is finishing his work on-time, but this too has improved. He's being placed in an advanced/accelerated reader program due to his extraordinary reading skills. Big pat on the back for you and I from Mrs. Taylor, she says he's consistently at the top of the ranking for Jefferson's kindergarten reading! :)

Thanks,

Rick

SCHOOL - Informed NCP of Aid's Excellent Progress

03/30/2010 10:13 PM

Informed NCP of results of the teacher's meeting that she couldn't attend.

  • Aiden doing oustanding, little trouble finishing work, but overall is great.
  • Being placed in the Accelerated Reader program due to his greatly advanced reading level/skills.
  • Is consistently top ranked amongst peers for reading and comprehension.
  • Teacher asks again about ADHD screening to improve Aiden's school experience

To: Debra Morgan sea_turtle7@hotmail.com, Debra Morgan debra.morgan2@okdhs.org
Subject: Easter Weekend
Date: 3/30/2010 10:13:24 PM
Folder: Sent Items

Deb,
.....
Aiden's teacher conference went well. The biggest remaining issue for him is finishing his work on-time, but this too has improved. He's being placed in an advanced/accelerated reader program due to his extraordinary reading skills. Big pat on the back for you and I from Mrs. Taylor, she says he's consistently at the top of the ranking for Jefferson's kindergarten reading! :)
...

ORDERED VISITATION - EASTER 2010

03/31/2010 7:10 pm

EMAIL - NCP my suggestions for Easter 2010.

States: "I'm fine with the Easter weekend visit. I can meet in inola at 6 it shouldn't be an issue."

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - SCHOOL

03/31/2010 7:10 PM

EMAIL - NCP indicates knowledge of recent teacher conference and being sorry that she missed it.

EASTER 2010 - NCP Agrees to visit plans

03/31/2010 7:11 PM

From: Debra Morgan sea_turtle7@hotmail.com
To: Rick Spaulding rspaulding@matrixservice.com
CC:
BCC:
Subject: Re: Easter Weekend
Date: 3/31/2010 7:11:10 PM
Folder: Inbox

Rick,

I am going to remind you not to send personal emails to my work email

address.
I'm fine with the Easter weekend visit. I can meet in inola at 6 it

shouldn't be an issue.

Friday I am not off work and cannot take that day off.
I'm very proud of Aiden. I hated not being their for his conference.

Do love you rick.

Deb

Refuses to cooperate on Easter gift or Easter egg hunt

04/01/2010

I ask if Debra would like to work together financially on a bigger better Easter gift for Aiden. She refuses, says since she pays child support she doesn't want to get him a basket or gift, that's my job.

CRIMINAL ACT - ABDUCTS AIDEN FROM MY HOME

04/01/2010 10:00 AM - 04/02/2010 4:30 PM

NOTES: Debra removes Aiden from my home without my permission and refuses to return him.

  • Had brought Dylan by to play with Aiden. Would only do so if allowed to stay the night.
  • Knew I planned to take Aid to zoo on 4/1 and had afternoon off to do so.
  • She asked if she could watch Aiden instead of him going elsewhere, til I returned. I agree.
  • I get off an hour earlier than planned and return to find Aiden, Dylan, and Debra are gone.
  • Call Debra who says the zoo was a great idea, they'll be doing it without me.
  • I ask her to return Aiden home. She refuses hangs up. This goes on for some time. Later says she's takintg him home to her place. I threaten to call police/sheriff. She hangs up
  • Does not return him until 4:30 PM

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

04/02/2010

I ask if Debra would like to take him to a classmate's birthday pty he's invited to. She refuses. I take him instead.

VISITATION REFUSES/DECLINED - EASTER 2010

04/04/2010

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

04/11/2010 10:56 AM

NCP ignores an offer for extra visitation time.

I send a text & eMail to NCP offering extra time today. No response from NCP.

To: Debra Morgan sea_turtle7@hotmail.com
CC:
BCC:
Subject: Aiden in town today
Date: 4/11/2010 10:56:50 AM
Folder: Sent Items

Deb,

Aiden and I will be in town today for a few hrs, I thought I'd see if you're interested in some time with him this afternoon? I can go run some errands if you'd rather I not be there.

Tells Aiden he doesn't care about when he'll see Dylan

04/22/2010

During the mid-week visit Aiden asks Debra when he'll Dylan next. Debra becomes angry and says she knows it doesn't matter to him, says it only matters to Daddy. Aiden says she's wrong, it does matter to him, is sad.

LATE/NO VISIT NOTICE

04/22/2010

TEXT/PHONE - Deb calls at about 6 PM...says she'd like a midweek visitation. I agree.

Refuses to play with Aiden during visit

04/22/2010

Debra midweek visit @ my house. She comes over, plays with Aiden for 15-20 minutes and then tells him she's not interested because she's tired. I play with him instead.

NCP refuses to say when Aid will next see his big brother

04/22/2010 1:55 PM

Emailed NCP asking when she can answer Aid's questions about when he can see Dylan next. She refuses to answer the question, but does take the time to complain about me emailing her at work.


To: Debra Morgan sea_turtle7@hotmail.com, Debra Morgan debra.morgan2@okdhs.org
CC:
BCC:
Subject: Dylan's Next Visit
Date: 4/22/2010 1:55:08 PM
Folder: Sent Items

Heya, I just wanted to touch base and let you know that Aiden asked last night about when he would see Dylan. I didn't have an answer, which left him with no idea about when it would be.

This bugged him a bit, so I wanted to see if you can give me an idea of what Dyl's visitation schedule will probably be like between now and the end of summer.

I realize that you don't want me emailing your work address, but you've not replied to any other addresses. If you've a better email address you'd prefer I use, just let me know what it is and will

Hope you're having a great day,

Rick

SCHOOL INVOLVEMENT IGNORED/REFUSED

04/23/2010

TEXT/PHONE - No response from Debra when I let her know that Aiden had a behavioral warning today and a bad day at school.

Aiden gets a behavioral warning at school

04/23/2010

TEXT/PHONE MSG - Aiden receives a Yellow behavioral warning, he says he misses his brother, cries.

Asked NCP again for a calendar of when he'll see Dylan. She does not respond.

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

04/24/2010

TEXT - Aiden is invited to a party, I text her the dates and ask if she'd like to take him, She refuses. I take Aiden instead.

DECLINES 2010 SUMMER BREAK VISITATION

04/25/2010

TEXT/PHONE - Says she can't do summer visitation, she can only afford one of the boys and it'll be Dylan... again.

Claims that child support is the preventing Aiden and Dylan from seeing each other.

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

04/25/2010

TEXT / PHONE - We visit my parents. I offer to drop Aid off to play for a couple of hours, she refuses, says she's on her way to Norman, OK.

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

04/26/2010

TEXT/PHONE - Debra refuses offer for her to take Aiden out for 2 hours on her way back thru town from Norman, OK.

SCHOOL - Aiden sick 1/2 day, allergies

04/28/2010

REFUSAL TO COPARENT - DAYCARE INVOLVEMENT

04/29/2010

TEXT/EMAIL/PHONE - I let NCP know about pricing changes @ EDP, ask for her preferences about daycare/summercare due to the change in cost.

  • She says she doesn't care where he goes
  • she thinks I should cover all the costs due to my income
  • Says she thinks Aiden should choose his own daycare ?!?!

CHANGES EXCHANGE TIME/LOCATION

04/29/2010

TEXT/PHONE - Debra changes exchange time to 7:00 PM in Inola, OK.

LATE/NO VISITATION NOTICE

04/29/2010

TEXT/PHONE - No notice about visitation timing or exchange...ask her when/where, she suggests Inola @ 7PM.

REFUSES TO ADDRESS NEGLECT ISSUES

04/30/2010

After I feed Aiden @ Subway (she has no food @ home) and buy groceries, I help load him into her car. We stand outside the car, and she refuses to correct sleeping during visitation, leaving him in jammies all day, etc. Says there's no law saying she can't do these things.

HAS NO GROCERIES FOR VISITATION

04/30/2010

TEXT/PHONE/IN-PERSON - Debra says she has no food for visitation. I buy some groceries and send them with.

ORDERED VISITATION - CANCELLED / REFUSED DURING VISIT

05/01/2010

PHONE - Calls me on Saturday afternoon. Angry, she's flipping out, says to come get Aiden immediately, that she doesn't want him for the weekend anymore.

  • Says he's not listening
  • I speak to Aiden, ask him to respect and listen to his mom.
  • After Aiden calms, she changes her mind and decides to continue the visit.
  • When asked to email me letting me know of her intent to continue the visit, she gets angry, says she does not have to and hangs up.
  • Call witnessed by April Wickett.

Invited to last day of school and class field trip

05/01/2010

TEXT - Reminded Debra that last day of school is 05/24 and class field trip is on 05/05/2010.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

05/02/2010

TEXT/PHONE - I lost the child care reimbursement check, ask her to cancel old one and write a new one.

  • She accuses me of trying to be double-paid
  • Eventuall agrees to take care of it the following day, then fails to do so.
  • Takes 3 weeks of begging her to get it taken care of before she does so.

NCP ATTEMPTING GUILT TRIP OVER CHILD SUPPORT

05/02/2010

TEXT/EMAIL - Debra claims that child support garnishment is killing her financially, can't afford more than a can of corn for dinner all week. I offer to help with groceries, she refuses. I offer to bring dinner, she refuses. She says she's selling an old dryer.

I CHANGE EXCHANGE TIME/LOCATION

05/02/2010

TEXT/PHONE - I offer to pick Aiden up at Wal-Mart in pryor (3 minutes from her home) so that we can go pick up toys for his new kitten and see my parents. Deb agrees

PHOTOS - I send NCP a photo of Aiden with his very first kitten :)

05/02/2010 5:54 PM

Aiden and I go to pick up his very first pet...a beautiful little kitten. He's incredibly happy, excited...but most of all, he's proud to be entrusted with such an amazing and beautiful thing.

We discuss the relationships between people and pets now that it's a more real occasion for him...I send NCP a photo taken of him as he's thinking about responsibilities, play time, and the trust of his first pet.

School Involvement REFUSED/IGNORED

05/03/2010

TEXT/PHONE - I ask again if she's attending the field trip or not....NO RESPONSE

REFUSES/IGNORES REQUEST TO PAY SUPPORT

05/03/2010

TEXT/EMAIL - I ask if Debra has cancelled the check or called the bank to take care of it yet....NO ANSWER

ORDERED VISITATION - DECLINED/IGNORED - SUMMER BREAK 2010

05/03/2010

EMAIL - I emailed asking for Debra's plan on summer visitation. Also requested info on when Aiden will see Dylan next. Debra replies that she has no dates or times as of yet. Says she will not use summer break, only alternating weekends for Aiden. Says Aiden will only see Dylan on those days.

EMOTIONAL ABUSE/CRUELTY TO AIDEN - ALIENATION FROM DYLAN

05/04/2010

EMAIL - NCP Continues to punish Aiden for being happy at home by alienating him from his older brother.

  • I email Deb, Jason, and her parents begging to give the boys more time together, asking that they get their normal summer together.

Only Debra replies, and her reply guarantees that Aiden will only see Dyl at her house and only on alternating weekends.

LATE/NO NOTICE

05/05/2010

TEXT/PHONE - Debra says she can't go to the field trip.

Aiden's Class Field Trip to Blue Belle

05/05/2010

Aiden has his class field trip, goes to Blue Belle factory, has ice cream, goes to park to play/lunch.

Debra never took any time off, I attend.

Changes location and time repeatedly

05/05/2010

EMAIL - Debra changes the location multiple times as we try to work out Mother's Day....
Wants to meet for exchange at my apt @ 9 PM....
Wants to meet for exchange in Inola
Changes back to my apt @ 9 PM.

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

05/06/2010

Aiden receives an invite for a bday party during her weekend. I ask Debra if she'd like to take him, or to allow me to take him & return him to her....or to swap weekends. NO RESPONSE>

Accepts Mother's Day

05/07/2010

EMAIL - After much arguing and discussion Debra takes Mother's Day weekend. I lose a weekend, but Aiden finally gets a weekend with his brother.

Debra's following visitation will be 05/21/2010

NO GROCERIES FOR VISITATION

05/07/2010

VIS. EXCH - Debra mentions having no groceries for visitation with the boys, I buy some and send them back with her.

LATE/NO NOTICE OF CHANGE TO VISITATION EXCHANGE

05/07/2010

TEXT/PHONE - Debra pushes exchange back to 9 PM in Inola (late back from Norman, OK). I agree. We're late by 15 minutes due to a huge traffic jam near the Hard Rock due to a bridge beams being erected by crane.

I INFORM NCP OF SCHOOL DAY CAMP AND PRICING

05/07/2010

TEXT/EMAIL/PHOTOS - I send scans of Day Camp pricing & themes to NCP

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

05/16/2010

I offer to drop Aid by for a couple hours so I can go shooting, also have money for her from a craigslist sale. She wants the money but refuses the time with Aiden.

LATE/NO VISITATION NOTICE

05/19/2010

I text Debra @ 7:15 to see if she's come up with a plan for visitation this weekend. There is no response.

ORDERED VISITATION - REFUSED / IGNORED - SUMMER BREAK 2010

05/19/2010

EMAIL - Debra formally refuses summer break visitation

  • States that Aiden isn't getting to see she or Dylan more than every other weekend
  • As a result, Aiden will only get 10-12 days with Dylan this summer.
  • Dylan is less than 40 minutes away, but Debra will not let Aiden or I see him

Declines 1 day of visitation

05/19/2010

EMAIL - Debra doesn't want Friday 05/21, due to being in Ponca City. Says she'll meet on the following day.

ORDERED VISIT IGNORED/REFUSED

05/20/2010

Debra declines the first day of her weekend visitation, says she'll not be free until nearly midnight. I offer to meet her anywhere within 60 miles at any time prior to 10:00 PM if that'll enable her visit....she refuses. Wants Aiden at 8 Am on Sat...I refuse, stating that her late-night shouldn't mean his early morning....we agree to meet at noon.

I let Debra know about changes to School Start/End time

05/20/2010

TEXT/EMAIL - I text Debra to let her know about the changes in Union's start and end time for Fridays and that it may result in a change in childcare costs. She argues about whether or not she should have to pay the difference.

CHANGES EXCHANGE TIME/LOCATION

05/20/2010

Debra declines Friday night of her ordered visitation, we agree to meet in Inola at noon the following day.

Promises a schedule for when Aid will see Dylan

05/20/2010

EMAIL

Takes Aiden to Urgent Care for sore throat

05/23/2010

UNREASONABLE CHILD SUPPORT REQUEST

05/23/2010

TEXT/EMAIL - Debra sends me a total cost for the visit to UC, wants me to pay her immediately.

Interrogates Aiden about my personal life

05/23/2010

VERBAL/TEXT/EMAIL - Aiden indicates that during visitation Debra asked him a lot of questions about a friend of mine. I ask Debra not to do this, and ask if she's stalking me since she's had no way to know about the visitor she's asking him about.

SCHOOL INVOLVEMENT IGNORED/REFUSED

05/24/2010

TEXT/EMAIL - I text Debra to remind her that Aiden's class picnic/graduation is tomorrow, and ask if she's going to come. NO RESPONSE

SCHOOL INVOLVEMENT IGNORED/REFUSED

05/25/2010

I remind Debra that Aiden's last day activities are @ 10:35. Ask if she's coming, and if not, is there anything she'd like me to tell him on her behalf. NO RESPONSE

Publicly posts our conversation on Facebook

05/25/2010

IN PERSON/EMAIL - Debra posts our text messages regarding visitation on her public Facebook page. I ask her to remove it and not do that again. She refuses, then laughs about it before hanging up.

Refuses earlier visitation start/exchange

06/01/2010

EMAIL - Debra refuses earlier visitation exchange, says she can't meet earlier than 5:30-6:00 PM on Fridays

Still no answer when Aid will see Dylan

06/02/2010

EMAIL - I email again asking if she's managed to get a calendar yet, she'd promised we'd have one by 05/30/2010

LATE/NO VISITATION NOTIVE

06/03/2010

TEXT/PHONE/EMAIL - Waits until @ 7:45 PM to let me know where and when for 06/04 visitation exchange

UNREASONABLE CHILD SUPPORT REQUEST

06/03/2010

Debra again asks me to pay the urgent care receipt immediately, demands payment prior to 30 days

NO FOOD/GROCERIES FOR VISITATION

06/04/2010

Debra mentions having no food or groceries for breakfast. I buy some and send them along with Aiden.

Late Notice - Summer 2010

06/04/2010

IN-PERSON / EMAIL - Debra finally gives me a calendar of days she wants for summer, containing changes happening in less than a week, such as her demand that I give up Father's Day.

VISITATION EXCHANGE - ARGUING / ANGRY BEHAVIOR

06/06/2010

NOTES: Explodes into a rage during visitation exchange

  • She demands instant payment for doctor visit. I let her know I'll pay within 30 days.
  • Explodes into a rage, yelling, visibly upset in front of Aiden. Will not stop when I ask her to calm down.
  • When she realizes a friend drove me to exchange she pulls Aiden's arm and yells at him in the convenience store.

Argues against 3rd party visitation exchanges

06/11/2010

I suggest that we use a 3rd party for exchanges again since she's so angry and belligerent. She protests and doesn't want to.

No indication of when Aid will see Dylan

06/11/2010

Debra's visitation calendar continues her refusal to say when or if he'll see his brother Dylan.

Demands that I give up father's day

06/11/2010

TEXT/VIS. EXCHANGE

LATE/NO VISITATION NOTICE

06/11/2010

Finally provides a summer visit calendar. It consists primarily of alternating weekends, and demands that I give up my time on Father's Day.

LATE/NO VISITATION NOTICE

06/15/2010

TEXT - Debra texts me at 2:45 PM wanting to take Aid for dinner @ 6. We already have plans, so I decline.

NO GROCERIES/FOOD FOR VISITATION

06/15/2010

When I arrive to drop Aiden off, she indicates she is out of food/groceries for Aiden & Dylan's visit. I buy some at Wal Mart and leave them with her before driving home.

LATE/NO VISITATION NOTICE

06/15/2010

Changes her mind, will take Aid if I will pick him up in the morning. I agree. Due to her late change of heart it is after 11PM when I drop Aiden off.

Refuses Extra visitation / Daycare Visit

06/15/2010

TEXT/PHONE - In response to her earlier request I offer to let her take Aiden for the night and to take him in to Blossom Child Care the following morning. She refuses

HARASSES ME WITH LATE NIGHT CALL

06/16/2010

IN PERSON/EMAIL - Calls and hangs up @ 3:30 am.

  • Aiden is at my home (i.e. no reason for calling)....
  • I email and ask her not to do so again.

Blames Mother's Day for inability to take visitation

06/16/2010

Gives notice she'll not take visitation on 06/18

06/16/2010

EMAIL

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

06/17/2010

TEXT - I text Debra to see if she'd like to have Aiden on her birthday. There is no response.

IGNORES CHILD SUPPORT PAYMENT REQUEST

06/17/2010

TEXT - I text Debra and remind her that she's behind on multiple daycare payments, asking when she thinks she can take care of getting these paid. NO RESPONSE

IGNORES REQUEST FOR AIDEN TO SEE DYLAN

06/18/2010

TEXT - I offer to take Dylan with us to see Toy Story 3 at a local theater (since he's staying in Broken Arrow at her parents' home).

I ask again about Aiden seeing her on her bday.
I remind her that Child Care is once again in arrears.

NO RESPONSE

ORDERED VISITATION - DECLINED/REFUSES ENTIRE WEEKEND

06/18/2010 - 06/20/2010

EMAIL/TEXT/NOTES - NCP Declines entire visitation weekend

  • Debra has scheduled a minor non-emergency/elective outpatient procedure without respect to agreed visitation
  • Demands I shuffle our plans and schedule to accommodate her failure to plan
  • I refuse to do so, due to no summer calendar from NCP til 06/11
  • NCP takes Dylan to her parents for the weekend
  • Refuses to take Aiden, says her parents can't handle him.

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

06/19/2010

Offer to bring Aiden to the park or any location she'd like so that he can play with Dylan. NO RESPONSE

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

06/20/2010

TEXT - I offer again to bring Aiden or pick up Dylan so that they can have some time together. NO RESPONSE

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

06/21/2010

TEXT - Again I text Debra offering to pick up Dylan or drop Aiden by so that she or they can have some time together. NO RESPONSE

LEAVES DYLAN WITH HER PARENTS FOR 3 DAYS

06/21/2010 - 06/23/2010

NOTES/EMAIL - During summer break visitation, leaves Dylan with her parents for 3 days.

LATE/NO VISITATION NOTICE

06/22/2010

TEXT - 5:40 PM After she calms down, I offer to let Aiden spend the night, on the condition that she grant Aiden's wish to have Dylan over at our place to play his new games with him. She agrees and says she'll call back later to set it up.

LATE/NO VISITATION NOTICE

06/22/2010

TEXT/PHONE - 10:45 PM - Changes her mind again, we discuss and agree that I'll bring Aid to her, she'll take off work the next day and Dyl can play with Aiden at my apartment the following evening.

CANCELS VISIT AND BREAKS PRIOR AGREEMENT

06/22/2010

TEXT/PHONE - 10:40 PM - After leaving Aiden waiting to see his brother all night, she cancels the visit, says she got busy and that Dylan's not actually with her, and is staying with her parents.

HARASSMENT BY NUMEROUS TEXT MSGS

06/22/2010

Accepting no responsibility for her loss of time with Aiden, Debra unleashes a barrage of text messages blaming me for how little time she has with Aiden this summer.

Finally agrees to pay April, May Child Support

06/22/2010

Promises to send a check covering Late April thru 06/14/2010

BREAKS PRIOR AGREEMENT

06/23/2010

TEXT/PHONE - Now that she has Aiden she wants to change our arrangement and honor none of her previous promises.

  1. Asks me to meet the 3 of them for Ice Cream, but then takes them alone and forbids me time with both boys.
  2. Changes exchange time from 7PM to 8:30PM.
  3. No longer intends to let them play together at the apartment.
  4. Says she doesn't have to do honor anything, so she won't be.

Thanks me via text message for the evening

06/23/2010

CHANGES MIND ABOUT EVENING AGAIN!!

06/23/2010

TEXT/PHONE/RECORDING - Debra has a change of heart and agrees to let Dyl come play. I take the boys to Barnes and Noble and buy them both books.

They stay until nearly midnight. There are no problems, no arguments. Debra and I talk about dating one another. She says they might come stay a night or two in the next few days. Aiden and I are both thrilled.

I Contact OCSS to get child care witheld by garnishment

06/23/2010

After extensive frustration w/Debra's child support delay tactics, I contact OCSS to get child care set-up as a income assignment.

EXTRA VISITATION ACCEPTED

06/25/2010

Debra accepts an extra visitation offer to have Aiden for the night.

Demands one of my visitation weekends

06/25/2010

TEXT/PHONE - Debra demands one of my visitation weekends, implies that doing so would be a good sign to her that I'm really interested in trying again as a couple, and that it'll give Aid time with Dylan. I agree to do so.

NO GROCERIES/FOOD FOR VISITATION

06/25/2010

Debra is out of groceries/food for the visit. I agree to go pick up a few items at WalMart, Dylan asks to ride with me. We go to Sonic, talk a lot, and have a good time. I pick up the groceries and drop them off with Dylan at her apartment.

Cancels Dinner/Movie time with boys

06/26/2010

TEXT - 6:00 PM - Debra cancels the dinner/movie night with she and the boys. I'm hurt by this, but when I ask if she wants me to come get Aiden or wait til the next day she says they're playing happily, so I agree to wait.

INVITES ME TO DINNER/MOVIE WITH BOYS

06/26/2010

TEXT - 4:45 PM - Debra asks if I'd like to join them for dinner and a movie in Tulsa. I agree.

Ignores/Refuses to answer several relationship questions

06/26/2010

TEXT/PHONE - Debra's words earlier leave me feeling that I've been duped into stupidly giving up my time in hopes of seeing us be a succesful family again. I ask her a few questions by text to determine her level of interest/commitment...she ignores or deflects every single one of them. I've been had.

BREAKS AGREEMENT / IGNORES EXCHANGE ARRANGEMENT

06/27/2010

TEXT/PHONE - The exchange time comes and goes with no call from Debra. I text and call, but no response.

Debra finally calls back 2 hours later, there will be no time for me with the boys. I've been lied to all weekend.

She laughs, tells me I'm a "goddamned fool" and a "real piece of work" for thinking I'd really get time with both boys.

NEW AGREEMENT / EXTRA VISITATION TIME

06/27/2010

TEXT - Debra wants a little extra time to take the boys to dinner with her parents. I agree, but on condition that I finally get family time with the boys that I'd been promised yet denied all weekend. She apologizes and agrees.

ASKS FOR A DATE NIGHT, SEXUAL PREFERENCES

06/30/2010

TEXT - Debra apologizes for the prior behavior, wants to be sexual asks if I've been tested, etc. Offers a date night out together....then launches into a series of questions to see what I've provided to OCSS this year.

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

07/01/2010

TEXT/NOTES - With no response from Debra to prior offers to have Aiden on her birthday, it passes with no word from her. She later states that she spent the time with her parents and Dylan.

"Date Night"

07/02/2010

TEXT/PHONE/NOTES - This had been scheduled all week (see text msgs).

I arrived, and within 15 minutes Debra was acting angry and oppositional anytime I asked about where we go from here, how she's feeling about things, etc. she became violently angry. Deb's on the front porch shouting at me, she keeps looking at the fence and smiling, yelling a little louder each time. I ask her to calm down and stop yelling, but this makes it worse.

Aiden comes out a couple of times and asks her to not to yell or be mean to me because it scares him. She yells back at him and then continues at me. I'm asked to leave. We talk, I'm invited back.

She's fine unless I ask for some sign of what she's really trying to do where we're concerned - at which point she tells me "better off not asking me anything about that", acting cold and very unusual...says that not trying just because she won't answer is my decision and that'd be where it stood.

More smiling and glaring. We decide we'll try to go see Twilight the following day.

EXTRA VISITATION/HOLIDAY DECLINED

07/02/2010

TEXT/PHONE - I ask Debra if she'd like to split the July 4th holiday so that he can do fireworks with each of us. She declines, stating that she has no plans to spend any time at all with Aiden on July 4th.

AGREEMENT MADE FOR 07/04/2010

07/02/2010

TEXT/PHONE - Debra and I reach an agreement that I'll pick up Aiden Sunday Morning/early afternoon since she'd had him the prior weekend while I worked. States she has no 4th of July plans with Aiden.

CHANGES EXCHANGE TIME - Cancels our movie date plans

07/03/2010

TEXT/PHONE - No word from Debra all day. I text a couple of times, eventually hear back around 6:30 PM. She acts cold, callous, says "oops, guess I just lost track of time and let it slip my mind" in an amused voice.

Tells me I'm still a "goddamned fool" while she laughs at me on the phone. Tells me not to get hurt or upset as that would be a sign that I'm a bad person and haven't changed. Starts trying to change our originally agreed exchange time.

Leaves Aiden with her parents during visitation

07/03/2010

Leaves both Aiden and Dylan at her parents for this day of her visitation. I receive no notice and have no idea whether it was for the day or the day and night.

FAILS TO FEED AIDEN

07/04/2010

Decided not to feed Aiden. When she drops him off at my parents Aiden states he is starving and mommy won't give him anything to eat.

My parents feed him. Later Deb claims she's "not a big breakfast eater" and that it's fine for him not to eat. Later changes her story and says Aiden told her he didn't want to eat. Aiden states "that's a lie, I told her a lot I was hungry"

CANCELS VISITATION

07/04/2010

Leaves Aiden with my mom and dad @ 7:30 AM, ending visitation early. Was originally to have him until the afternoon.

ORDERED VISITATION - NEGLECT/ABUSE

07/04/2010

NOTES - While shooting fireworks, Aiden asks why his mommy won't spend time with him, play with him, or talk with him during his visitation. Wants to know why she won't give him food when he tells her he's hungry.

Leaves Aiden with my parents during visitation

07/04/2010

TEXT/PHONE - A mysterious work emergency develops, and she leaves her home. Leaves Dylan alone, drops Aiden off at my parents around 6:30-7:30. He is still in his pajamas and unfed when she drops him there.

When asked why she didn't call to have me come meet or pick him up, she laughs and says she absolutely does not have to.

EXTRA VISITATION OFFER IGNORED/REFUSED

07/05/2010

TEXT - I ask if Debra would like an extra weekend of visitation on 07/09/2010. No response.

Refuses to pay child support

07/06/2010

After receiving notice from the school that before/aftercare costs are changing, Debra says she doesn't think she should have to pay the increase...or the care at all. States that she's very angry that she has to pay support at all with what I make.

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

07/07/2010

TEXT - No response to prior offer, I text again offering an extra weekend of visitation on 07/09/2010. No response.

Argues about Health Insurance

07/07/2010

TEXT - I offer to move Aiden to my health insurance since the per visit costs would be dramatically cheaper.

She refuses to consider this, says her current plan costs her nothing and reduces her Income on the Child Support calculation.

LATE/NO VISITATION NOTICE

07/09/2010

TEXT - Debra finally responds to the offered weekend @ 6:30 PM. I set the following expectations:

  1. No more leaving him in the care of others without at least saying something to me about it.
  2. He will be fed. He will be clothed. He will not spend any more days in his jammies all day.
  3. She'll stay with him, and if he's awake, she will be too.
  4. She'll not leave him in the apt by himself.
  5. He'll see Dylan.
  6. I'll meet her at her parents to pick him up on Sunday afternoon.

She agrees, and exchange happens shortly thereafter.

VIOLENTLY ANGRY DURING VISITATION EXCHANGE

07/09/2010

TEXT/NOTES - Debra explodes in front of myself and both boys when I hand her the itemized accounting of outstanding child care she requested.

I head back home, we argue by text message about child support.

LEAVES AIDEN AND DYLAN WITH HER PARENTS

07/10/2010

Breaks our agreement, leaves Aiden and Dylan with her parents early in the evening (7PM or so from the show Aiden was watching when she left) and overnight.

Gives no notice and no contact info to me.

FIGHTING DURING EXCHANGE - "You've no right to know where he sleeps!"

07/11/2010

During exchange @ Arby's, Debra's behaviour is odd, very very aggravated. I ask again for the address and am refused.

Tells Aiden "Oh, look, Daddy doesn't want you to be at you nanna and paw paw Grace's house". I ask her to quit, I load Aiden in. After the door is closed I tell Debra that I won't be sending him with her until she agrees to provide the whereabouts and contact information for the overnight stay.

She starts yelling, says I have no right to know if he's not spending time with her or where he's staying the night.

BREAKS AGREEMENT / CHANGES TIME/LOCATION

07/11/2010

TEXT - When I ask for the address to meet at her parents home for exchange, she refuses to provide it, changes the time and location to an Arby's in Broken Arrow.

Says she doesn't want me to know where their house is located.

REFUSES TOSHARE CONTACT INFO / REFUSAL TO CO-PARENT

07/12/2010 - 07/16/2010

TEXT/PHONE - Numerous arguments via phone & text. I ask for the contact info and address, she refuses it.

-Reasons range from "My dad said not to"...to "I'm not going to tell you that because I don't have to."

-I remind her that those visits are for time with her, she says it's none of my "damn business" what she does with him or where/who he's left with if she wants to go out.

STAGES CALL, TRYING TO CREATE FAKE RECORDING

07/13/2010

Let her know that if she's cooled off she can call between 7:30 and 8:00 pm. She explodes, hangs up, calls right back with a falsesly calm voice...asks again...I give her the time to call, she accuses me of refusing her contact with Aiden, apparently in effort to stage appearances for a recording.

Try to explain that I'm not refusing her contact, and that it's just to let her cool off before she talks with him. She hangs up midsentence, so I send the same words as a txt msg.

She calls back and does the exact same verbiage/tone as before. I again try to explain, she hangs up.

She calls back and does the same thing again...cuts me off when I try to explain, asks me to just admit I'm refusing contact. The minute I try to speak, she hangs up.

MAKES REPEATED CALLS - SCREAMING ANGRY

07/13/2010

RECORDING/CALL - Repeatedly calls, refuses to give address, screaming at me on the phone, hanging up anytime I try to speak.

Later in the hang up call series she wants to talk to Aiden, but still sounds quite angry.

Let her know that if she's cooled off she can call between 7:30 and 8:00 pm. She explodes, hangs up, calls right back with a falsesly calm voice...asks again...I give her the time to call, she accuses me of refusing her contact with Aiden, apparently in effort to stage appearances for a recording.

INAPPROPRIATE CONDUCT WITH AIDEN

07/13/2010 7:55 PM - 07/13/2010 8:10 PM

RECORDING - Call to Aiden from Debra, the first in 3 months.

Makes inappropriate statements to Aiden.

Tells Aiden that I won't let him come see her because of an address, and she's going to do something about that. Asked her to stop, she continues anyway. Asked to stop again, she does so. Call ends seconds afterwards.

(Sonic, 81st and Garnett, speakerphone, Aiden and I are having a treat/snack from Sonic).

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

07/17/2010

TEXT - I text Debra asking if we can get the boys together at a public place to play and so that she can have time with him in a known contact area until we resolve the address issue.

NO RESPONSE

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

07/18/2010

TEXT - Asked if Aiden and Dylan can play together at the park sometime this weekend, explaining that I'll drive to wherever needed to facilitate the visit while we wait for a court date to work the address situation out.

NO RESPONSE

REFUSES TO COMPLY WITH OAH ADMINISTRATIVE ORDER - INCOME STATEMENT REQUEST

07/22/2010

TEXT - Debra refuses to provide income information when requested, in violation of the Administrative Order and state law. I remind her of the Order.

  • Feels it will only be used to increate her child support.
  • States that she will only provide that info to OCSS
  • That she will answer no requests from me regarding it
  • Feels no duty to keep me updated regarding income.

REFUSES TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT/CHILD CARE

07/22/2010

TEXT - Debra refuses to pay child care costs. Wants to change things, now she wants yet another custom receipt format. When asked why she can't use the same as everyone, even DHS uses, she wants one that tells her things like in/out time, check number, check or cash, etc.

MAKES DYLAN SELL/DELIVER AVON BY HIMSELF

07/22/2010

CALL/RECORDING - During call with Debra, Aiden speaks briefly with Dylan.

During call, Dylan states that Debra made him go out by himself to sell and/or deliver Avon on her behalf so she wouldn't have to go out in the heat.

It was 112 degrees this afternoon.

REFUSES TO CO-PARENT

07/22/2010

TEXT - I mention to Debra that Blossom contacted me, and the she needs to not do such things.

Let her know that I'll gladly provide receipts and such for Aiden's daycare anytime she needs them, but that she needs to get caught up on child care costs.

Refuses to cooperate on either topic, claims a right to call and behave in such a manner.

FALSE IMPERSONATION CALL TO AIDEN'S DAYCARE

07/22/2010

TEXT/EMAIL/NOTES - Debra calls the director at Blossom Childcare, Aiden's summer daycare (Kim).

  • Debra announces she's with OKDHS and needs info about the attendance of Aiden Spaulding. Doesn't identify herself as Aiden's mother until asked.

  • at no point does Debra ask about how Aiden's doing there, whether he's happy or playing with friends.

  • NCP's sole was attendance records, which Kim refuses to provide based on the oddness of Debra's attempt to represent her call as DHS related and shady behavior.

  • Kim calls to let me know the call has happened

ODD BEHAVIOUR DURING CALL WITH AIDEN

07/22/2010 7:00 PM

TEXT - Debra wants to call @ 7 PM, I say that this is no problem. She calls, they talk for 5-7 minutes.

During the call her voice and behavior is very unnatural compared to normal. Afterwards, Aiden asks why mommy's voice sounds so weird. Asks "did she got a new voice or something?"

Aiden speaks briefly with Dylan, who acts like he's reading a script of questions. Before they stop, Dylan states that Debra had him walk around the apartment complex by himself delivering and taking Avon orders in the 112 degree heat.

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

07/25/2010 11:10 AM

TEXT - I text Debra letting her know that Aiden and I are going into Chouteau (11:10 AM), and make another request to let the kids play at a park. No response.

VISITATION EXCHANGE - LATE/NO NOTICE LAST MINUTE CHANGES

07/29/2010

EMAIL/ TEXT - Debra demands visitation exchange at 6:30 in Inola, then 6:00, then 5:30, then 6:00, then 6:30, making numerous erratic changes.

LAST MINUTE VISITATION CHANGE

08/2010

PHONE - Debra calls to say a work emergency will keep her from being able to do visitation on time. I offer to meet at 8 PM instead, she agrees. I take Aiden to dinner. During dinner she calls, having changed her mind, and wants me to bring him to her immediately so that she can leave him with a co-worker. I refuse.

I SEND SCHOOL SUPPLIES AND SCHOOL YEAR LINK TO NCP

08/01/2010 4:56 PM

EMAIL - I send an email to NCP notifying her of school supplies, asking if she'd like to contribute, and send her a link to the school year page for Jefferson Elementary, the Union School District location where Aiden will attend 1st grade.

NO RESPONSE

RESPONDENT FILES MOTION TO MODIFY CUSTODY

08/10/2010

DISINTEREST IN NEW SCHOOL YEAR AND SUPPLIES

08/16/2010

EMAIL - I send Debra a list of school supplies and ask if she'd like to take to Aiden pick out a backpack...which happens to his favorite part of new school supplies. REFUSED

HARASSMENT BY PROXY - OKDHS - MICHELLE ALMANDAREZ

08/27/2010

VISITATION EXCHANGE - OKDHS Co-Worker Michelle Almandarez is present for exchange

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

09/06/2010

EMAIL/TEXT - Emailed and texted offer of extra visit. NO RESPONSE.

APPEAL TO NCP TO BE MORE PARENTAL/USE MORE VISITATION

09/09/2010 6:29 PM

EMAIL - I email NCP to try getting her to be more parental and to ask her to take advantage of extra visitation offers

  • Remind her that she's not seeing Aiden often enough, she hasn't done midweek visits in months.
  • Ask her to communicate dates on which Aiden can see or speak to Dylan over the next 3 months.

HARASSMENT BY PROXY - OKDHS - Michelle Almandarez

09/10/2010

VISITATION EXCHANGE - Michelle Almandarez is present for visitation exchange.

ORDERED VISITATION - NEGLECT/ABUSE - FAILS TO GET MEDICAL CARE

09/11/2010 - 09/13/2010

NOTES - Aiden returns home from visitation saying he's sick, told his mom and she refused to take him to the doctor, says she told him "That's your Dad's job."

  • Aiden lets NCP know multiple times he doesn't feel well.
  • Doesn't eat much all weekend.
  • Says he told her he felt super cold all the time
  • Spikes a fever of over 100 before we get back home.

Changes location & return time

09/12/2010

TEXT MSG @ 1:42 PM - Debra changes location to Sonic @ 101st and Elm in Broken Arrow, OK.

Wants to move exchange timing to 8:00 PM. We agree on 7:30 PM so that I can get Aiden acclimated @ home and to bed at a decent hour

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED - AIDEN SICKDAY

09/13/2010

TEXT - Aiden returns from her visitation sick. Ask Debra if she'd like to take 1/2 a day with him while he's ill. She refuses.

I SEND AN EMAIL ADDRESSING ADHD TESTING, AIDEN TIME W/DYLAN

09/13/2010 10:52 AM

EMAIL - I send an email to NCP addressing the following issues...

  • Recent OKDHS presence at visitation exchange
  • Still no word on when Aiden will see Dylan next
  • Notification of intent to have Aiden evaluated for ADHD

PRETENDS I'VE NOT LET HER KNOW ABOUT AIDEN BEING SICK

09/14/2010

EMAIL - Pretends that my text messages about extra time with Aiden didn't mention his condition.

Falsely States: "Your text tirade earlier tonight was out of line as usual and nothing to do with Aiden's illness...just another of your meaningless and malicious slander toward me."

  • Each set of messages did mention Aiden's condition and offered extra time, though I did call her a piss poor mother when she decided she wanted nothing to do with him.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - DEMANDS INVOLVEMENT IN HEALTHCARE DECISION

09/14/2010

EMAIL - Respondent demands involvement in ADHD testing despite her refusal to be involved on anything medical since August of 2006.

  • Attempts to infer that having Aiden tested and potentially treated will be bad for him at school.

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED - AIDEN SICKDAY

09/14/2010

TEXT - Aid's still sick, intermittent high fever, ask if Debra would like to take part of the following day with him, she refuses.

HARASSMENT BY PROXY/SLANDER - NCP'S PARENTS

09/15/2010 - 09/17/2010

EMAIL - I receive two threatening emails from Carl Grace, the NCP's father.

  • Behavior is totally different than prior conversations
  • States a threat to call the police based on false concerns of Debra's physical safety
  • Indicates that his reason for concern is communications from Debra, indicating she's still lying me to anyone who'll listen.
  • Is unusually focused on a photo of me at the shooting range.

AIDEN SICK - Extra visitation refused

09/15/2010

TEXT - Debra continues to refuse any time with Aiden while he's ill, says that's not her responsibility or interest, says I should've asked yesterday - this is all a game to her.

I AM SERVED NCP'S MOTION TO MODIFT

09/20/2010 10:10 AM

NOTES - I'm served Debra's Motion to Modify.

I PURCHASE A PRE-PAID CELL PHONE TO RE-ENABLE CONTACT

09/28/2010

EMAIL – Notification of phone purchase sent to NCP

  • Had sent several emails indicating reason phone is needed to enable phone contact.
  • Asked several times for NCP's involvement in purchase.
  • No response from NCP, currently no phone contact, something must be done.

REFUSES TO HELP PAY FOR CELL PHONE

09/29/2010

EMAIL

NCP PRETENDS SHE HAD NO KNOWLEDGE OF NEED FOR PHONE

09/29/2010

EMAIL – NCP acts as though no one let her know a phone purchase needed to be made. Another lie.

  • Claims Aiden’s too young for a phone, though she made no similar complaint when Dylan had one (from same age through current date).

ACTIVE EFFORTS / CONSPIRING TO ALIENATE AIDEN FROM DYLAN

10/05/2010

EMAIL - Flatly states that Aiden will only be allowed to speak to Dylan at her home.

REFUSES TO LET AIDEN HAVE DYLAN'S PHONE NUMBER

10/05/2010

EMAIL - FLATLY REFUSES TO LET AIDEN HAVE HIS BROTHER'S PHONE NUMBER

LIES ABOUT EFFORTS TO GET JASON TO LET AIDEN SEE DYLAN

10/05/2010

EMAIL - NCP claims in email that Jason says I've not asked him. This is offensively false. She seems to think dodging this issue and alienating the boys from one another is a damn game.

LATE/NO VISITATION NOTICE

10/05/2010

EMAIL - I email and ask if she's going to use this weekend's visitation, having had no notice or communication from her.

Later responds that she plans to.

ORDERED VISITATION - LATE/NO NOTICE

10/05/2010 10:46 PM

EMAIL - NCP has sent no notice for visitation as of 10:45. I email to see if she plans to take visitation

  • Late notice from her is getting ridiculous

IGNORES REQUESTS FOR WHEN AIDEN WILL SEE DYLAN NEXT

10/06/2010

EMAIL - Still no word on when Aiden will next see his brother.

  • Aiden's been asking when he will see Dylan
  • I ask NCP.

NO RESPONSE

DOESN'T CALL AIDEN FOR 2 WEEKS

10/06/2010 - 10/18/2010

Makes no calls to Aiden during this timeframe.

REFUSES TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT/CHILD CARE

10/06/2010

EMAIL - I email Debra reminding her that child care reimbursements have still not been received.

IGNORES REQUEST FOR NEXT TIME AID WILL SEE DYLAN

10/06/2010

EMAIL - Remind Debra that Aiden has neither seen nor spoken to Dylan in quite some time. I ask when they boys will next speak.

There is no response to this as of 10/22/2010

ODD BEHAVIOR DURING CALL

10/06/2010

RECORDING - Debra calls Aiden for the first time on the new phone.

Her tone and speech is unnatural and forced sounding, which causes Aiden to become rather antsy. He accidentally hangs up on her at one point while fooling with the buttons. We call back.

INTERFERES WITH PHONE CONTACT

10/08/2010

TEXT - Debra pretends that the charger is not packed and that Aiden's phone is dead.

I remind her that the charger is documented as being in the bag, we tested and verified the battery was full and the phone checked/tested en route visitation exchange. I offer to bring an additional USB charging cable, she refuses. I remind her nearly any digital camera cable would work, remind her she has some.

She ignores the messages

LATE/NO VISITATION NOTICE

10/08/2010

EMAIL - I remind Debra again about Fall break dates.

ARGUES DURING VISITATION EXCHANGE

10/08/2010

RECORDING - Showed Debra the prepaid cellular and how to use it. Aiden is ecstatic, says he gets to use one now because he's getting bigger now. I tell him that's right.

Debra begins arguing points about him having the phone, as to how he's too young for one, etc. I kiss Aiden and let him know I'll call him, and then leave.

LATE/NO NOTICE CHANGES VISITATION EXCHANGE

10/08/2010

Debra has decided to have visitation exchange unofficially supervised by OKDHS employees.

  • Has made no intention to change visitation exchanges known.
  • Has no sanction or permission from DHS to do so.
  • Has no sanction or order from court to have DHS present.

HARASSMENT BY PROXY - OKDHS

10/08/2010

VISITATION EXCHANGE - Debra brings fellow OKDHS employee to supervise visitation exchange.
- Makes no mention prior to exchange of DHS presence.
- Both Michelle are dressed in OKDHS t-shirts.
- Michelle's presence at exchange is not sanctioned by OKDHS, nor was permission given by administration.

INTERFERES WITH PHONE CONTACT

10/09/2010

TEXT - I text Debra and ask her to please not interfere with Phone Contact. She states me trying to call him is visitation interference. Now states that she's found a charging cable and phone is charged,

claims the phone has no signal and that I should've checked the service coverage before buying. I check with Net10, who confirm the phone has signal, and who direct me to their coverage map

INTERFERENCE WITH PHONE CONTACT

10/09/2010

I attempt to call Aiden again three more times.

Phone now goes directly to voice mail each and every time. later I find that Debra has entered my number on the "Blocked Numbers" list in the phone.

INTERFERES WITH PHONE CONTACT

10/09/2010 7:35 PM

TEXT/NOTES - Try calling Aiden's phone, rings twice then goes to voice mail. It is on, ringing indicates services, 2 rings then voicemail indicates "ignore" button used.

INTERFERENCE WITH PHONE CONTACT

10/10/2010

RECORDING/PHOTOS - Phone shows Debra purposefully and willfully blocked me from talking to Aiden.
- Aiden states she took the phone from him and wouldn't let him have it.
- Phone Shows he missed a call from me on 10/09/2010 @ 7:34 PM - the one that rang 2x before voicemail.
- Phone has been set to silent.
- Debra has used airtime playing with the phone and making random calls, which means it was working and in coverage at her house.

EMOTIONAL CRUELTY TO AIDEN - BLOCKS CONTACT WITH DYLAN

10/10/2010

Aiden says he didn't get to call or see Dylan this weekend, and that he asked a lot.

USING AIDEN AS MESSENGER / EMOTIONAL CRUELTY TO AIDEN

10/10/2010

RECORDING - Aiden asks Debra to put Dylan's number on his phone. She says he has to ask Jason instead. Tells Aiden to ask his daddy to ask Jason for the phone number.

Jason is Dylan's father.

LATE/NO NOTICE CHANGES VISITATION EXCHANGE

10/10/2010

Debra has OKDHS Paula Kennedy supervise visitation exchange

  • Has communicated no intention to change visitation exchanges known.
  • Has no sanction or permission from DHS to do so.
  • Has no sanction or order from court to have DHS present

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - BLOCKS PHONE CONTACT

10/12/2010

PHOTOS/EMAILS - NCP LIED ABOUT DEAD BATTERY DURING VISITATION

  • I check Aiden's phone to see if Debra's claims of Aid's phone having a dead battery on 10/09/2010
  • I immediately find that Aiden's phone shows a missed call from me @ 7:34 PM on 10/09/2010
  • Dead phones do not record missed calls.
  • I take a photo of the phone screen to document the event.

EXTRA VISIT/SPECIAL INVOLVEMENT - REFUSED/IGNORED

10/12/2010 - 10/15/2010

EMAIL- I offer extra time and a special opportunity for NCP to be involved in helping to pick out Aiden's Halloween costume. No answer for days, then refuses.

JASON STATES DYLAN HAS HAD A PHONE FOR YEARS

10/12/2010 10:03 PM

EMAIL - Jason indicates in email that Dylan has had a cell phone for years.

States: "Additionally, Dylan has had a cell phone for several years."

JASON ADMITS CONSPIRING TO ALIENATE AIDEN AND DYLAN

10/12/2010 10:03 PM

EMAIL - Jason, in an email acknowledges agreeing with Debra's request to alienate the boys by limiting contact to times when Aiden is at her home.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - CHILD SUPPORT

10/14/2010

LETTER FROM NCP – NCP sends undated letter refusing to pay child care, picking and choosing what costs she'll cover.

  • Refuses to pay august child care for Blossom Child Care due to not liking receipt format.
  • Pays other items for which I've sent no receipt.

EXTRA VISITATION IGNORED/REFUSED

10/15/2010

TEXT/EMAIL - I offer extra visitation on 10/30/2010 with exchange at her parents' home, so that by compromise we can both take him to Halloween carnivals that night.

Debra refuses on grounds of the exchange location.

ADMITS TO REDIRECTING MAIL AND PACKAGES, MISLEADING HER FAMILY

10/16/2010

EMAIL/TEXT - Acknowledges openly that mail and packages for Aiden have been redirected to her home, and this will not change. Acknowledges that she has directed her family to do so.

As a result, things like birthday cards and holiday cards which we used to receive have totally stopped, and aren't seen by Aiden til his next visit with her, often after those special days are past.

SAYS EXTRA VISITATION OFFERS BELITTLE HER

10/17/2010

EMAIL - NCP sends a really weird email, obviously angry, and claims that my offer of extra visitation on 10/30/2010 in the middle of my weekend belittles her.

  • I'm totally baffled as to how her refusal of my offering extra visitation during part of my weekend w/Aidenis belittling to her.

NCP states: "Obviously this entire extra visitation scenario was just a ploy, an effort to enhance yourself and belittle me."

REFUSAL TO CO-PARENT

10/17/2010

EMAIL - I email photos and notification of Aiden's first lost tooth to Debra, her parents, and Jason (hoping he'll show Dylan the photos)

The sole response is from Debra, who decides to start arguing about whether a dental checkup meets her personal criteria for dentistry.

INTERFERENCE WITH PHONE CONTACT

10/18/2010

NOTES/PHOTO/VIDEO - I decide to call Aiden's phone, and go straight to voicemail. Discover that my phone # has been to the blocked caller list. This list was blank when phone was purchased, and when sent to her home on vis weekend of 10/09/2010.

This is why the phone calls started going straight to voicemail.

Documented the settings, fixed the settings, documented the state as fixed and working. Called Aiden's phone and had no trouble ringing through.

EMOTIONAL ABUSE/CRUELTY TO AIDEN

10/22/2010

EMAIL - email Debra asking her to cease all inappropriate phone conduct and inappropriate conversations with Aiden.

  • NCP responds pretending that she's doing nothing wrong
  • States no obligation and no intent to let Aiden know when he'll see Dylan
  • Despite numerous recordings continues to lie in emails she claims are "for the record"

EXTRA VISITATION - IGNORED/REFUSED

10/30/2010

EMAIL - Debra refuses extra visit opportunity on 10/30/2010 when I suggest we do visitation exchange at her parents home.

ORDERED VISITATION - NEGLECT/ABUSE - HEALTH CARE

12/03/2010 - 12/05/2010

EMAIL - NCP admits during her 12/15/2010 email that Aiden had a fever for multiple days and that she did not take him to the doctor.

In email states:
- various false claims and accusations.
- Aiden had fever from 12/03 thru 12/05, never took him to doctor, never notified me.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - FAILURE TO NOTIFY ME WHEN HE'S ILL

12/03/2010 - 12/05/2010

EMAIL - NCP admits to witholding health related information in email on 12/15/2010.

In email states:
- various false claims and accusations.
- Aiden had fever from 12/03 thru 12/05, never took him to doctor, never notified me.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - REMOVAL FROM JURISDICTION

12/05/2010

RECORDING - Aiden indicates that he rode with the NCP to McCalester, OK and back.

  • NCP made no indication she'd be taking Aiden on this trip into another court's jurisdiction.
  • Aiden was sick with fever during the nearly 4 hours spent in the car driving there and back.

COERCING AIDEN TO MAKE FALSE STATEMENTS DURING RECORDINGS

12/14/2010

RECORDING - Attempts to convince Aiden he wasn't really sick during her last visit.

  • I previously asked Respondent about Aiden's statements of being left @ her parents and given cold medicine in an email about her most recent visitation. Aiden gives numerous details, in her call she attempts to convince Aiden he's wrong.

EMOTIONAL ABUSE/CRUELTY TO AIDEN

12/14/2010

RECORDINGS/CALLS TO AIDEN/"HAPPY ZOMBIE" - Phone behavior causing anxiety in Aiden

  • After their call, Aiden asks again why mommy still talks "so funny, like kinda weird sounding" on the phone.
  • He's right, there's a dramatic difference in her tone/behavior consider to her rare Pre-filing phone contact
  • Aiden states that she's totally different at her apartment and seems "kinda sad and angry acting" when he's there.

COERCING/PROGRAMMING AIDEN'S MEMORY/TESTIMONY

12/14/2010

Debra attempts to convince Aiden that he wasn't sick during his last visit, tells him he's confused about what happened, that he wasn't really put on the couch with a fever, given medicine, etc. All of which is a lie, and Aiden was not comfortable with it.

I ask her to stop, she says she will. As soon as aid's on the phone she starts again. I take the phone, hang up. Later, once she's calmed down, I call back and give Aiden the phone.

ATTEMPTS TO DICTATE WHAT ITEMS AIDEN SHOULD AND SHOULDN"T BRING TO VISITATION

12/15/2010

EMAIL - NCP says I shouldn't bother sending clothes, tell me what toys to pack for Aiden.

ADMITS TO NOT INFORMING ME WHEN AIDEN IS SICK

12/15/2010

EMAIL - Debra states "FOR THE RECORD while he was here December 3-5 he had a mild low grade fever on that Saturday..."

In a phone call the day before she'd tried to convince him he wasn't sick at all.

Demands her calls not be recorded or monitored

12/15/2010

EMAIL - 3 hours after trying to convince Aiden he was never sick, Debra demands that I stop recording calls or having Aiden on speakerphone.

Debra states (12/15/2010 @ 12:34 AM) "In the calls from here on out I am requesting that these calls are not on speakerphone Aiden does have a right to privacy to speak to me without your interjections and interruptions."

Admits She will not let Aiden bring belongings home

12/15/2010

EMAIL - Debra states " ...yes some toys will be staying here that I or my parents have purchased..."

CHILD SUPPORT CONTEMPT

12/15/2010

EMAIL - Claims I have not tried to pay her for an old outstanding medical bill. This is a lie. The check has been repeatedly put in his visitation bag's front pocket with his phone charger every visit since late November.

Tells me not to pack clothing for Aiden's visits

12/15/2010

EMAIL - Tells me in an email that I "no longer need to pack clothing for Aiden as I now have some that will be used while he visits. ".

I've known this for a while now, because Aiden says she won't let him bring his belongings home to where he lives.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - PHONE CONTACT

12/15/2010 12:35 AM

EMAIL - NCP Says she'll call Aiden @ 8:30 PM, 30 minutes before his bedtime. This is a constant habit of hers since the filing, and disrupts Aiden's nightly routine.

We ask when Aid will see Dylan next

01/04/2011

EMAIL - I ask when Aiden will see his brother next.

Doesn't know when Aiden will see Dylan again.

01/05/2011

CALL - During call I remind Aiden he's been asking about seeing Dylan. Adiden asks Debra, she says she'll find out.

Why doesn't she know or tell him????

CRUELTY TO AIDEN - REFUSES TO SAY WHEN HE'LL SEE HIS BROTHER

01/05/2011

RECORDING - During their call, Debra promises Aiden she'll find out when he can see Dylan again and let him know.

CO-PARENTING - I ask her to help with several issues

01/06/2011

EMAIL - I ask Debra to help with several issues that are impacting Aiden
I remind her
- His belongings need to travel with him, he doesn't understand why she won't let him bring them home.
- Remind her that her behavior is causing Aiden anxiety.
- She has returned the medical reimbursement check I owe her for the 3rd time.
- Ask by what date she'll make good on her promise of giving the date Aiden will see his brother.
- Luggage returned home again with nothing in it used. Aiden says it never came out of her car.
- Gift from Aiden to her returned home with his luggage. Aiden says she didn't want it.
- Ask her again to worry less about court and more about what will make things less stressful for Aiden.

SCHOOL - I let her know his school singing date changed

01/06/2011

EMAIL - Let Debra know the date of his school singing event has changed to 01/25/2011

ADMITS INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR, VOWS TO CONTINUE

01/09/2011

EMAIL (her response to my 01/06/2011 email)
- Refuses to say when Aidfen will see Dylan again
- Refuses to indicate whether she'll attend his school concert.
- Admits again to witholding his belongings
- Vows to continue witholding belongings
- Emotionally attacks by reminding me I'll never see Dylan again.

REQUESTS NO FURTHER CO-PARENTING COMMUNICATIONS

01/09/2011

SCHOOL - REFUSES TO SAY IF SHE'LL ATTEND

01/09/2011

EMAIL
- Refuses to indicate whether she'll attend his concert on 01/25/2011

REFUSES TO SAY WHEN AIDEN WILL SEE DYLAN AGAIN

01/09/2011
  • Refuses to say when Aidfen will see Dylan again

CO-PARENTING: I request more reasonable call times

01/10/2011

EMAIL: Asked her to respect Aiden's 9PM bedtime by trying to call before 8PM. She typically calls at 8:30 PM.

She usually calls on Wednesday, but tried calling @ 8:20 PM on Sunday night. I ask her to let me know next time so that we can try to work call times out more effectively, as we Aiden's life consists of more than waiting for her calls.

CO-PARENTING: I remind her we need to try to cooperate

01/10/2011

EMAIL - I remind Debra that we shouldn't stop co-parenting related communication, that she needs to consider cooperation and ask again for her to put Aiden's well-being ahead of her personal interests

USING AIDEN AS A MESSENGER

01/11/2011

EMAIL - States " I will speak to Aiden about the Choral program during my visitation this weekend and involve him in my planning. I do not answer to you."

Later on another topic, she also states: "I gave him (Aiden) the information (password) SO HE COULD use his DSi at your home – yes, play with the unit like a 7 year old! And it no longer be “shelved” knowing you’d change the password on it since he was told the password. "

SCHOOL - REFUSES TO STATE IF SHE'LL PARTICIPATE

01/11/2011

EMAIL - Vows to use Aiden as messenger again. Refuses to state whether she'll attend school event.

States " I will speak to Aiden about the Choral program during my visitation this weekend and involve him in my planning. I do not answer to you."

CO-PARENTING: REFUSES TO RESPECT AIDEN'S BEDTIME

01/11/2011

EMAIL - states "I will call Aiden any time I please ...."

ORDERED VISITATION - EMOTIONAL ABUSE/CRUELTY TO AIDEN

01/14/2011 7:00 pm - 01/16/2011 7:00 pm

RECORDINGS - Aiden's visit is emotionally horrible, exchanges are even worse.
- NCP continues using Aiden as messenger (school events, dsi password, call dates/times)
- NCP lies to Aiden about me at visitation exchange, tries to stage conflict
- Does not allow Aiden to see or call Dylan, refuses to state when he'll see him next.

REQUESTS NO FURTHER COPARENTING COMMUNICATIONS

01/17/2011 1:16 PM - 01/17/2011 2:00 PM

EMAIL - Debra makes numerous false/misleading statements, requests no further co-parental communications of any kind.

EXTRA VISITATION - REFUSED / IGNORED

01/17/2011 10:35 pm - 1/17/2011 10:35 pm

EMAIL - Refuses extra visitation opportunity extended on 01/16/2011

REQUESTS NO FURTHER COPARENTING COMMUNICATIONS

01/17/2011 10:35 PM - 01/17/2011 10:45 PM

EMAIL - Debra flatly demands that there be no further co-parenting communications, states she will respond to no further co-parenting communications.

Her email demonstrates further efforts to avoid responding to co-parenting communications, her refusal to comply with court order regarding school-activities, and her practice of making Aiden responsible for her responsibilities as co-parent (using Aiden as a messenger for parental subjects).

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - ABUSE OF PHONE CONTACT

01/19/2011 - 01/21/2011

EMAIL/TEXT/CALLS TO AIDEN - After repeated requests that she call prior to 8:00 PM NCP has begun calling at the very last minute demanding to speak to Aiden. When late or last minute calls are ignored she pretends there's a willful plot to deprive her of phone contact.

TEXT - NCP text messages me, pretends she's being denied phone contact with Aiden

She is totally over every line of parental respect and decency at this point.

NCP making nightly attempts to disrupt our evening routine

01/19/2011

Call to Aiden - NCP Attempts to call Aiden @ 8:10 PM despite repeated requests she respect his nightly routine and call before 8 . Call ignored due to repeated requests that she cease making late calls to Aiden.

  • She had emailed previously stating that she'd call at 8:00 a day or so prior.

NCP Lying/Staging False Denial of Phone Contact issues

01/20/2011

TEXT - NCP text messages me, pretending she's being denied contact, tries debating that she can call whenever she wants to.

  • asked her yet again not to call at the last minute and to respect Aiden's nightly routine.
  • reminded her of her request that all coparenting communications stop
  • gave her a promise Aiden will call before 7:30 the next day.
  • told her to address any other concerns via counsel.

Refusal to respect Aiden's bedtime

01/20/2011

Call to Aiden - Waited until 7:53 to try calling Aiden. Call ignored due to continued failure to respect Aiden's bedtime

EMOTIONAL CRUELTY/ABUSE TO AIDEN

01/21/2011

CALL TO AIDEN - Still no word or indicator of any kind when she'll let Aiden see or speak to his brother again, despite promise to do so 2 weeks before.

VIOLATION OF PATERNITY ORDER - ABUSE OF PHONE CONTACT

01/21/2011 - Present
  • RESPONDENT IS NOW CALLING EACH AND EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK
  • DISREGARDING THE "REASONABLE" PORTION OF PHONE CONTACT
  • THIS CREATES A NIGHTLY DISRUPTION OF TIME TOGETHER FOR AIDEN AND I
  • THIS INTERFERES HEAVILY WITH ENJOYMENT OF CUSTIDY AND COMOANIONSHIP FOR AIDEN AND I

  • STATE GUIDELINES DEFINE REASONABLE AND FREQUENT PHINE CONTACT AS TWO WEEKNIGHT CALLS AND ONE WEEKEND CALL. NCP'S PHINE ANTICS ARE WELL IN EXCESS OF THIS.

USING AIDEN AS MESSENGER

01/21/2011 7:30 PM

CALL TO AIDEN - Has Aiden tell me she's attending school event and will call on Sunday evening

  • Has been refusing to reply as to her attendance at Aiden's school concert for weeks
  • Continues to ignore requests that she respect Aiden's daily routine.
  • Continues to ignore requests that she communicate a schedule with time she intends to call

ACCEPTS EXTRA VISITATION OF 1 HOUR

01/25/2011 7:00 PM - 01/25/2011 8:00 PM

RECORDING - After Aiden's singing program he says he wishes NCP would "spend an extra minute with him".

  • NCP grimaces when he says this, which makes him act sheepish.
  • I suggest that they could go have dinner so that they don't have to hang out at the school.
  • NCP eventually agrees.

USING AIDEN AS MESSENGER

01/25/2011 8:10 pm - 01/25/2011 8:15 pm
  • ADDRESSES MATTERS OF SCHEDULING AND PHONE CONTACT TO AIDEN DESPITE MY BEING WITHIN A FEW FEET.

  • AT CLOSE OF TONIGHT'S EXTRA VISIT TIME TELLS AIDEN SHE WILL CALL HIM TOMORROW, FURTHER STEPPING UP HER AGGRESSIVE CALL SCHEDULE AND INTRUSION OF OUR NIGHTLY ROUTINE

  • I'D ALREADY MADE PLANS FOR US, BUT NOW HAVE TO CANCEL SINCE SHE NEVER CALLS WHEN SHE SAYS SHE WILL AND CLAIMS EACH AND EVERY MISSED CALL IS INTEREFERENCE WITH PHONE CONTACT

Refuses to meet/comply per agreement between counsel

07/27/11 - 07/31/2011

Repeatedly refuses by email and text messages to comply with the visitation exchange portion of agreement between counsel (Harris and Gassaway/Brooks).

I tell her I will not violate the promises we made counsel.

When place & time agreed for exchange comes (07/31/11 @ 7pm near Inola PD), neither Debra nor Aiden are there. I ask Repeatedly for her to return Aiden as ordered and previously agreed, she adamantly refuses.

Tells me several diff places to pick up Aiden, moves location anytime I get close. Says he is at her new home, and tells me not to come there.

Tulsa PD, Mayes Cty Sheriff/PD, Inola PD, Rogers Cty will not assist.

Finally states she has him at her adoptive parents' home in BA. Tells me not to come there. BA PD agree to assist and do help, returning Aiden @ 11:10 PM.

Aiden states that "mommy told the police 'I hope you know he's just using you'..."

Eventually

VIOLATION OF COURT LRDER: PATERNITY/CUSTODY

07/31/2011

Despite being repeatedly asked not to take Aiden beyond court jurisdiction per court order, she takes Aiden to Muskogee county, never tells kenor requests written consent as required.

Aiden tells ke she has done so when returned from 2nd summer visitation session.