The most horrible prayer walk I've ever been on in my entire life. Here are the letters that I wrote:
"Why am I here? What on Earth am I doing here? I can't do this, Lord. I can't hear from you. Who am I supposed to talk to!?
Lord, free me from the lies of not being worthy. Allow me to walk on campus with a spiritual authority. Remember Cornelius? He was a gentile talking to a jew. I'm getting so anxious. "If I don'ttalk to someone I am failing." FREE ME LORD!
Lord, I am looking at every single individual and comparing myself to who they are. If they are anything I'm not (which everyone does) I shut myself down.
Lord, what is this barrier!?
(When I said I would talk to the next Greek student God provides me and I didn't)
Lord you brought me one Greek student -- Why am I afraid? Why can't I approach groups?
Would I do it if he were alone? Nick what are you doing? This is your job!!
You need to sow abundantly -- GO!
(I then went to talk to the student I was afraid of)
(After talking to Greek Advisors)
Lord -- Honestly -- What am I doing here? I'm not a big picture person, what am I doing? God I'm afraid. I'm afraid CRU is too well known. I'm afraid I won't see anything happen. I have no idea what I'm doing God!!
...But I'm here -- for you. Even if it hurts, even if it means death, it's you and me, Lord. It's you and me. Lead me. Support me. USE ME!
"Nick, don't let my glory pass you by."
(Retreated to Library for rest)
Lord, this library is literally a scene out of a movie. Lord the students here must be out of this world... Why do I compare myself so much to these students? God, I praise you for the ways you have made me. Thank you Lord that you protect me from the evil one. Spirit, lead me!